Trying Again

So the Solitary White Music template got mixed reviews. How about this one. I'm sure most of you will know why I picked it. Goes with the name nicely I think *G*

All opinions are welcome

May you all have a Safe and Happy New Year!!

*MUAH*

So what do you think??

Since I am about to start a new calandar, perhaps it's time to give myself a virtual face lift.

What do you think? Should I keep this look or go back to the earthy browns?

Honest opinions please,
I won't be insulted I promise *G*

And I thought I was busy before the holidays!!

Today my little bro, sisinlaw and nieces headed home bringing a close to all family visitations. I miss them already. I love it when they come to visit, the house is noisy, the girls are freaking out with each other..it's great *G* Of course suddenly having a quiet house is nice as well. I do wish they lived closer though. I get along very well with my sister-in-law and I think we would be much closer if there wasn't 3 hours seperating us. My brother taught me how to play crib last night. I don't have it completely down yet but I'm pretty good. Second game found me wiping the board with his butt!*BG* but then he 'skunked' me on the third. So the thrill of victory was short lived, but it was still a great way to spend a couple hours.

I have a few ideas on the back burner for the coming months. There is a workshop starting at the beginning of the month on historical writing that I am going to be taking. I'm really looking forwards to it. The first couple books I seriously started working on were historical romances. I'd love it if this jump-starts those stories again.

Feel free to nag me in the comments over the coming months to make sure that I am staying on track. Now that the holidays are over and the house is quiet there are NO EXCUSES!!! No good ones anyways. I want to get back on my 'writing everyday' habit that I started in October. I'm not going to worry so much on what story I am working on as long as I am working on something.

There isn't a publisher out there who will offer me a contract for a blank page so I had better start filling them.

Finally it's here...

I love this picture! LOL

Thankfully I have today off. Which is a good considering everything that need doing. It's been a scrooge filled week and I am sad to say that I just don't have an ounce of the holiday spirit in me. Takes the fun out of it all to be honest. I'm hoping that at somepoint between prepping for tomorrow's dinner and cleaning the bathrooms I might be able to play with the kids and start to enjoy myself. But enough of that depressing whining.

I read a really great story about someone who got on a bus and started handing out cards that contained $50.00. This person never brought attention to herself or anything just appeared handed them out and left. *snort* and people don't beleve in The Claus'. Secret Santa
Reading that lifed my spirits considerably.

I don't believe in coincedences. Everything happens to you for a reason, it's up to us to recognise when it happens. My hubby and I have talked about adoption since before we got married. When it was reccommended to me that I NOT get pregnant again after my second; it was no big deal because we decided long ago that our third child would be adopted, if we decided to have three. So yesterday somehow the topic came up in the lunch room at work. One of the women I work with has a sister who is a missionary in Chile. Her sister helps arrange adpotions from that country. Which has been on my mind ever since it was mentioned.

I've been talking adoption for the better part of a year, hubby is kinda draging his heels about it. I'm not sure if he wants a third but damn I do. Money is a factor of course. Have to be realistic about 3 university educations in the future and everything you need before then. Also we might have to look at a bigger house. This one is fine for the four of us. There is so much to consider but isn't it worth it is the end. I love children, they drive me crazy sometimes but flaking out on a Sunday morning watching cartoons with them is one of my favourite things.

The point I brought up to hubby is that if I suddenly found my self pregnant again we wouldn't be the least bit upset. More the opposite, so why is adopting so scary?

Oh goodie another one!!

*muah* Big hugs to Paxa for pointing out I missed one LOL

Which of Santa's Reindeer are you? Donder Like Donder you are sensible and a good leader. You know the right things to do at the right time and have people's respect Find out which of Santa's Reindeer you are at Quizopolis.com

I'm off to start wrapping some presents. This year I am not going to leave it all to Christmas eve! LOL

A bit of Christmissy fun

In hopes of getting more in the Holiday Spirit I have decided to change my name too...

Christmas Elf Name My Christmas Elf Name is Get your Christmas Elf Name at JokesUnlimited.com

Christmas Naughty or Nice List I am on the The Nice List After checking the North Pole database I had : 1,282 nice entries 100 naughty entries Check your name on the Christmas Naughty or Nice List at JokesUnlimited.com

HAHAHA Now I have proof. I'll be sure to remind my husband. I looked it up and his on the naughty list. *snort* I could have told him that. Can't complain though; I like him naughty *BG*

Secret Santa This year my Secret Santa bought me : Your Own Daytime Talk Show Get your Secret Santa gift at JokesUnlimited.com

Oh I really do not have the time for that! I wonder if "Ho-Ho" has a nice all expense paid trip to mexico he'd be willing to trade me? In actuality my Secret Santa at work got me a bunch of gift certificated to "Tim Horton's". I was thrilled! *G*

I can't wait till it's over!!!!!

Only 3 more sleeps till it's all over for another year!! I can't wait LOL That may sound a bit scroogy but anyone who work retail will understand my attitude. The general public has been bitchier and much more short tempered then normal this year. And it started earlier too. Usually the nastiness doesn't start till today but we have been knee deep for at least a week. Personally I think it is all this unseasonably warm weather we have been having. It feels like April not December.

Somthing about a fresh dumping of snow...turns the roads into a flurry of madness but everyone seems to get that starry 'oh it's so pretty' look about them. Not this year. Nothing but scowls and scarcasm.

I feel like a soccer ball in an Under 5 league. For those of you who have never seen 4 year olds play; then entire team follows the ball like a swarm of bees

I'm sorry if I am sold out of the wine you HAVE to have but perhaps you should think about shopping earlier then 2 days before Christmas. Sheesh

I actually had a customer come up to me yesterday and say "What do I have to do to get a couple cases of wine?"

I looked him in the eye and replied "Well first you better get a bunch of grapes and start stomping on them."

He didn't think I was funny.

*shrugging* Normally I wouldn't dare make a comment like that but I will admit to getting short tempered as well. But at least I'm funny *G*

Just a NAVY girl at heart

I have two uncles and a brother that have served in the Canadian armed forces. My uncles in the Navy, my little brother in the Army(infantry) reserves. Gotta tell you, seeing my uncles in uniform at a young age...I'm sure is what started my love of uniformed men.

When I got married, I asked my Uncle to come to my wedding in his ultra fancy 'Mess Dress'. This is the uniform used for only special occasions. He worked out, for like a month, to make sure it still fit for my wedding. Aside from pictures of my husband, the picture of me and my Uncle D in his uniform is my favourite.

He sent me this video, It is really amazing, but personally I love all those pristine white uniforms. *G*

NAVY rules baby!!

Navy Norway


This is the US Navy Presidential Ceremonial Honor Guard Drill Team.

Dead Parrot Sketch

I can watch this on over and over and never get sick of it.

A Classic

Ok so I've been playing on YouTube again but lookie what I found *BG*




This is one of my favourite stetches from Monty Python. Honestly I just don't understand when people say that they don't understand their humour or *gasp* Don't think they are funny!!

You'd have to be a dead parrot not to laugh at this one....speaking of which, I'm going to go find myself a "Dead Parrot"

A holiday quiz? What a great idea!

I'm feeling festive. My favourite part of this time is year is all the lights. There are a couple of houses near us that we have nicknamed "The Griswalds". I'd hate to get their hydro bill at the end of the month but am thankful that they do it. It's so pretty. Now I just wish we had some pretty snow for all those lights to refect off of.

It's so unseasonably warm here, really it's kinda a creepy. We had a nasty cold snap a week and a bit ago then it went away and it warmed up. I just keep getting this feeling like it is the calm before the storm.

You Are a Snowman

Friendly and fun, you enjoy bringing holiday cheer to everyone you know!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

Just put your results in the comments. I'd love to hear what everyone is *G*

I've Been Tagged!

It's been ages since I was tagged to do one of these, here it goes *G*





Four jobs I've had:

I've had soooo many, I'll name my 4 least favourite

Detassling Corn
Dress Shirt Factory
Telephone Solicitation
Retail Clothing

Four places I've lived:

Nova Scotia (I was so young I don't even remember the town's name)
Fort Erie
Kitchener
Oakville

Four favourite foods:

Potato Leek Soup
Sushi
Stuffed Shells
"Taters 'n' Cream" A burger place called Lick's makes this.
It's fries with shredded cheese, sour cream, bacon and chives on them. mmmmmmmm

Four movies I'd watch over:

Dogma
Shaft with Samuel L
Hell Boy
Serenity

Four TV shows I enjoy:

Supernatural
Heroes
Mythbusters
Thirsty Traveller

Four places I've travelled:

England, Scotland, Wales I know that is 3 but it was all one trip *sigh* Wales
Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Antigua
Florida

Four places I’d like to visit:
Wales again
Egypt
Australia
Italy

Four websites I go to (almost) daily:

Loose-Id
Yahoo
Blogger
Vintages


Four people I’m tagging to do this too:

Just think it will give you an excuse to procrastonate a bit *G*

Myfanwy
Frenchpeas
Samatha Winston
Scott Oden

I see you!!!

Aren't these cool? They are digital pictures of my eyes. I look crosseyed though LOL
This is a new thing that they do instead of putting the drops in. You know that kind that make your vision all blurry. Considering my glasses are broken and I hadn't put in my contacts I figured I had better not make them any worse. I did have to drive home.

So according to the optomerist they are healthy. Nothing of real concern except for the spot in one eye on the maculat area. That's the dark part. She isn't concerned right now but told me that if I don't already I should start taking a multivitamin and eat lots of fruit and veggies. Get lots of those good eye vitamins.

Of course being the calm person I am *coughcoughcough* I started freaking about Macular Degeneration and worring that I am going blind in one eye. Yes I know I leand towards being an alarmist, but I have calmed down now. I figure this gives me an excuse to drink more "Sludge".

("Sludge" is what I am everyone at work affectionitly call that aweful looking green juice that we are all addicted too LOL)

I wonder if you can get the same vitamins out of red wine?? Grapes are fruit *BG*

Just a few of my thoughts today

I realised the other day that when my mum was my age I was 12 years old.
I actually remember her being my age.
Don't know why but I found this whole thing very bazarre, but I do. I don't feel old enough to be a mum, let alone remember when my mum was my age. It's a little confusing if you think about it too much.

So as everyone who has stepped foot in any retail outlet in the past week will know that the general public has clicked into christmas shopping mode. I was swamped today, asked a thousand questions and lost count how many cases I slugged from the warehouse to the foor and up to the cash.

Of course do to the fact tht I forgot my age I was up chatting way to late last night. I remember being able to party till the wee hours, go to work in the morning (waitressing) then do it all again the next night. NOW, hell I'm up to 1am and then dragging my ass around the next day.

But it was still a great gab session and I'm all fired up to get some writing done. The voices in my head were clamboring over each other while I was at work today. Whispering their secrets, tempting my to jump into their story.
I only have two hands and one keyboard. I may need one of those mental ticket dispensers. If each voice would take a number you will get your turn when it comes.

Nono buddy sorry I know your big and you can growl all you like but you have to wait. Unless you belong in a bikini on south beach, You'll just have to be patient.

Now serving number 35.....

Decking the Halls

Yes I hae proved to my children that if you nag me enough I will finally snap and do what you want. LOL

Yesterday I started on the lights outside. Which ment hubster came out a few minutes later to make sure it was being done right and then took over. Which was fine by me since that was my plan all along. Yes after 10 years I have finally learned how to make him think it was his idea in the first place. I raked the last of the leaves up and fussed around. Today I got the lights up inside and set up the tree so the girls could decorate it when they got home from school. So now all that stuff is done and I don't have to worry about it till it's time to take it down in a month.

It has been crazy warm around here yesterday and today. Considering we have been living under overcast, rainy skys for the last 2 months, it has felt practically tropical around here. I was out working on the side yard, cleaning up some weeds and overgrowth. Getting ready for the snow to cover it all.

I have actually gotten some writing done as well. Yes I can hear the shocked gasp from some of you. I may not have finished NaNo this year but I am not going to procastinat the months away with dreams of grandure and a blank computer screen. At least I am going to try my best not to. *G*

I have just enough time to get a bit more work done on my plotting and then "Heros" is on at 9. It's a pretty good show. I'm not as addicted as I am to "Supernatural" but I enjoy it when I catch it.

Happy Writing

Just not going to make it.

No I'm not talking about the mutant cold that has moved from my head to my chest. At least my germs were considerate enough to hold off a full-on assult until after my weekend.

I am just not going to be a NanoWinner this year. I have removed my disgraceful word counter and need to face facts.

Now I could sit here and type all about the excuses and reasons I have for not finishing but that is exactly what they are. Excuses. Yes, the rejection stung more then I wanted to admit. Work has been hectic since my coworker was on vacation and this cold has knocked me over the bend. BUT the bottom line is I'm the one who procrastinated myself to the point where I ran out of time.

So lesson learned, (I hope) and I hang my head in shame.
Right after I blow my nose again.

*Note* You have to pop over to Dakota Cassidy's Blog and check out the clip she has posted there. It's called the "Evolution of Dance". I loved it! My daughter thinks it's awesome. Man, can that guy move. He must have been exhausted by the end.

I didn't want to come home!

Niagara Falls was awesome. Despite being cold and overcast. We've been there lots of time but never by ourselves and certainly not overnight. We stayed at the Marriott. I loved it. The staff was kick'n; they made me breakfast, did the dishes, made my bed, how could I not love them! LOL Ok so yea they do that for everyone but I really appreciated it. It was almost the best part of the weekend.


This was the view out our window. As you can tell we were really frick'n high up 23rd floor to be exact. I was a bit nervous but got over it quick enough. There was enough to distract me. The Horseshoe Falls were directly in front of us and if you turned to the left you could see the American Falls down a bit.
At night they shine lights on the water and it looks so cool but I couldn't get a good picture. The flash kept reflecting off the glass. Then when we went for a walk I was a goober and forgot the camera up in our room. So instead I 'nicked a picture off the internet. It looks exactly like this.

This was our room. There is a fireplace just to a right of the chairs, then a big desk and then a big wood armour that holds the tv and bar fridge. Speaking of which. Do you know how much they charge you for a 1L bottle of water in the room $11.00!!!! I'd drink from the toilet first. So we just bought our own and shoved it in to keep it cold. There was a massive bathroom with a jaccuzzi tub big enough to swim in. Also there was a double window in the wall between the bathtub and the bedroom, so you could open them like a pair of doors, then lay in the tub, all bubbly, and still watch tv. Now that is luxury!This was sent up to our room compliments of the hotel. Chris mentioned that we were there celebrating out tenth anniversary. How sweet was that eh? It is a chocolate wine bottle that had a hole cut in the side of it and was filled with Hershey kisses. mmmmChocolate. It was all wraped up in cellophane with a big bow. I was so excited. LOL No wonder I didn't want to come home. I got choccies delivered right to my door!

I am not sick!

My voice is funny? No really I always sound this way. The cough? No, no The air in here is just really dry.

I am less then 24 hours away from my weekend away. The hotel room is booked, dinner reservations are arranged, manicure appointment. I've been aggrivated enough by the three nails that broke this week. (Getting a manicure is such a rare treat for me, I'd like to have some nails left for her to file.)

I am not sick. I refuse to be sick. I won't be sick.

It's official

Today I am officially a professional author according to the RWA. Yuppers I heard back from the editor who I sent my story to. She had emailed me around the 20th, that is no doubt still floating around in cyberspace. Don't get me wrong it was a very kind rejection and to be honest I wasn't expecting an acceptance my first time out. It would have been nice....*G*

So it's back to another blank screen and see what I can come up with next. Yes I'm bummed but I'll keep trying. I'll be the first to say that my writing doesn't compare to most of what I have read. The good news is that I am getting better.

I keep reminding myself that J.A.Konrath has a book with 500 "BONG" (rejection) letters in it. Considering this is my first, I shouldn't whine too much, maybe just for tonight.

Monday, Monday, Monday

Yup it's one of those days. Overcast, drizzly, and cold. Terrible really. I was at work for an hour when the school called and told me that my oldest was sick. So I have an unplanned day off and a sicky child at home. Not that I'm happy that my daughter isn't well but I did get to come home *G*

Tomorrow we are half way through the month, which means my word count should be around the 25G's mark. Cough cough well mine is just over 8. Not good. At least I have some extra time today to get soem writing done. This weekend is a write off. Hubby and I are going away for two whole nights!!!

10 long years I have been married to him. 12 if you count the years we lived together. I've earned this weekend. LOL

This is the first time we will have 2 nights away from the girls since they were born. 'Till this year we have had 1 night a year away, this year 2!! And we are staying in a fancy hotel in Niagara. I'm so excited, I can't wait. I'm still going to smuggle the laptop in my suitcase though.

Now hopefully we don't catch our daughter's cold.

This is cool!!

My mum sent this to me to show the girls. My oldest saw it and was amazed. I have a feeling that when the youngest sees it, she will insist on doing it. LOL.



Who knew that this was such an explosive cobination! The Mythbusters also committed an entire episode (#57, showing again on Nov 26th) on it.

What is scarey is that I drink Diet Coke and Mentos are my favourite mint. Obviously I never have eaten them together because I haven't exploded LOL. I took this comment directly from their site. I'm sure some idiot would try.

So is it dangerous to drink soda and eat Mentos? Well, a lot of the fizz goes away as you drink. Then when bubbles are released in your stomach, your stomach can expand a bit, and it also has ways of releasing excess pressure. Do not, repeat, do not be stupid and test the limits of your stomach. Don't even think about it.

I have to go to the store now. *BG*

A productive day off

I finally finished it! The funky sweater is done, not bad if I do say so myself. *G*
I didn't alter the original pattern all that much. I added an inch and a half to the bottom, made the sleeves a big longer and changed the pattering on the arms. I love this lattice pattern. It's supa easy, and looks very medieval to me.

Hubby called dibs on my next project. He wants a Pittsburgh Steelers touque. Easy enough, I'm sure I still have the graph I made of the logo somewhere. I might even make myself a matching one, of course I'll put #43 on it somwhere in honour of Polamolu *BG*

I managed to get a good number of words on my NaNo done as well. I've got a GirlGuides meeting tonight so my goal is to get another 2 thousand done tonight after I get the girls to bed. That will put me closer to the 10G mark and I won't be freaking so much. I know I have lots of time but this month goes by really fast. Also the weekend after next I am goign away with Hubby for our anniversary. I don't think I'll be getting much writing done. I'm going to try to sneak the laptop into the suitcase. He'll need to sleep at somepoint LOL

I've also been doing a lot of research on writing. One of my goals for this year is to have both stories finished and submission ready (if not submitted already) and the third in rewrites by the end of October'07. I still have a lot of planning to do and rewriting. Morgan Hawke's blog is an incredible source of information. I've also been reading A Hero with a Thousand Faces and The Writer's Journey. I figure if I am going to pitch BIS as the first of a triliogy then it would be the best if I could hand over all three stories to a publisher at once.

hmmm you know I should squeeze in some Laundry time somewhere.....

A picture worth a thousand words..

Life Lessons

I found this in my email Sunday morning. It's the "Merlot and Email don't mix" figurine from TLC's Life Lessons. Don't worry mum, I was drinking Shiraz not Merlot so s'all good. *G*

Today is Day 6 of NaNo and my word count is pathetically low, dangerously low. I wanted to be at the 10-12 thousand word level but as you can see I haven't made it to 4G's yet. My bad. Aside from normal life stuff and dirty clothes that are reproducing like bunnies on my laundry room floor, I have been working on my sweater. I'm so clse to finishing it! It knit up so fast and I think looks really cool. Al I have to do is sew it up and weave in the ends and it's done. Oh the temptation!!!

I don't work till later this afternoon but I promised myself I would concentrate on my story today. I won't be home from work till late tonight and won't want to write then. Tomorrow I have a tasting which is very tiring. I know that sounds silly but trust me, writing tasting notes for 60+ products drains a person. I can sew up tomorrow evening while my creative wells fill up again.

Music Downloading & Red Wine

So what is the number one rule about bloggin'? Don't do it while you have been drinking...anything *G* Well just another rule to break in my book and this isn't the first time I've done it. No, I am not brushing up on my Italian wines like I mentioned in an earlier post, tomorrow's hangover will be thanks to Elderton's "Friends Shiraz" 2003. Bloody delicious stuff and here in Ontario it's very difficult to get a hold of. While I wouldn't drive a car at the moment I am still able to correct my rather atrotious spelling. *giggle* and use big words.

So I have discovered the wonders of downloading music. WooHoo. Okay so I am a bit behind on the times but damn I am glad to have caught up. Although I have discovered it is very difficult to type when you are bouncing in your chair to your favourite song. Currently I am listening to "Bodies" by the Drowning Pool. That's a song that will get you going in the morning I tell ya. Hey now that is a good idea, what is someone created an alarm clock that you could program songs into or plug your MP3 player into and it would blast out a particular song instead of that annoying beeping shit. This would so be my wake up song.

(now: "Pain" by 3 Days Grace)

You know what the problem is with downloading songs? I can't remember what ones I like the most. I don't have anything but radio in my car so all the stuff I listen to on 97.7fm, I don't always catch the name. Bummer. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever grow out of this style of music? I was a complete "metalhead" in highschool and continue to be so. I like my music edgy and loud. My 9 year old often tells me that it is too loud, but then my 7 year old listens to her music very loud as well. I wonder what it is that draws us to certain types of music. I am a total mum now. Long gone are the skin tight jeans, bandanas and massive backcombed hair, and yet I still love that style of music.

(now: "Black Betty" by Spiderbait)

Now I don't run around thrashing my head everytime a good song comes on. As much as I may be tempted *G* Old habits are hard to break ya know. But I happy to say that my girls are as familar with Metallica as they are with Shania Twain. I am trying to expose them to as many different types of music as I can in hope that they will have a greater appretiation. No Britney though, a mum has to draw the line somewhere.

(now "Dragula" by Rob Zombie)

Lazy Daisy Day

I wish I had a Mon-Fri kind of job, it would be easy to get used to having 2 days off in a row. Of course then it would mean I would have to work 5 days in a row *ugh* So far the most enegetic part of my day today was a trip to the grocery store, and a good reminder of why I don't grocery shop on Saturdays.

I did a bit of NaNo writing and plan to do some more. Gotta say my muse has surprised the hell out of me. I'm almost 3 thousand words in and so far, no sword fights, violence or sex. That's gotta be a record LOL. Just wait till closer to the end of the month when I am panicking about word counts.

This is Michaelangelo's "Bacchus" 1496-98. Since the story I am working on features this particular god, I was doing some research. As I learned while researching Thanatos and Hypnos last year, myths have many different versions. My stories are written in the present time, I have the luxury of picking and choosing myths to suit my purpose. Also being a fictional piece of work, I figure I can take a lot of 'artistic liscence'. Although I figure I had better brush up on my Italian wine knowledge. *G* Good thing I have tomorrow off too.

And they're off!!!

Day 2 of NanoWriMo and I am up to 25hundred words or there about. I want to be at 34 before I go to bed tonight. Like last year I find myself struggling with the words. I don't know the characters yet or what they are like so it's harder to let them do what they want but I know it will come. I had to give myself permission not to write the BiS sequal today. Something about my Heroine just doesn't seem to gel with the world I created last year. It's only the second day so we'll see what happens. My obsession with Supernatural is having an effect on her I think. Either that or the picture of a brooding Dean on my laptop LOL.

So I'm not really a poetry kind of person. Couldn't write it to save my life and I really don't read too much of it. Having said that there are some pieces that seem to resonate with me. My mum posted a poem on her blog that I hadn't read in years. To be honest I had forgotten about it, and how much I like it.

~~ "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" ~~


Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightening they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn to late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze light meteors and be gay,
Rage rage against the dying of the light.

And you my father there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

- Dylan Thomas
1914-1953

My New Year's eve

This might not be my favourite season but Samhain (Hallowe'en) is by far my favourite holiday. The girls and I carved pumpkins a couple days ago. Ryleigh and I cheated and used a template and Teaghan free-formed. The all looked awesome when they were finished.


Here are my two children, the "Fall Faery Princess" and the "Dead Zombie Goblin Soccer Player". They couldn't choose just one idea LOL. They met up with a friend and cased the whole neighborhood. They filled 2 Timmies bags each, and dragged me everywhere 'till Ryleigh kept asking to be carried. That's when we called it quits.

I was thinking about all the things I wanted to blog about tonight but to be honest I'm tired LOL. It'll be a quiet beginning to this year for me. NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow. I still don't have a really good idea what I'm goign to work on other then it being the sequal to BiS. Actually I had some great ideas for the third book which I want to close out the trilogy with. So I'll just have to see what this month brings. I'm looking forward to giving my muse free reign and seeing what he can come up with. I got some really solid ideas last year.

So far I still don't know anything about my short story. I submitted it but haven't had a response as to yes or no. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed and repeating, "no news is good news"

For now I think I'm going to go raid a couple of candy bags *G*

Never judge a book (or juice) by it's cover

I found this juice at the grocery store near my work. I had popped over there to get some lunch/dinner and was browing the organic section and found this product called "Arthur's Green Energy". Considering I was on an evening shift and dead tired already I figured 'what the hell' it can't hurt. Thankfully I didn't look at the actual juice before I bought it 'cause I never would have. The stuff looks like split pea soup. Really nasty colour green, after I opened it I almost tossed it cause I wasn't sure if I could bring myself to drink it.

The fact that I still had 4 hours to go on my shift was what had me closing my eyes and taking a good swallow. I figured if it made me gag then I could toss it guilt free. I couldn't have been more wrong. Despite the nauseous colour the stuff is AWESOME!! I love it.

Yea it's a bit pricy compared to other juices. A $1.99 for 375mls...but I dont' even blink over paying $1.50 for a large coffee a couple times a day and this stuff is a hell of a lot better for me. I've slowly been trying to wean my self off my multiple caffine fixes, I'm down to 2-3 a day. This I hope will replace my afternoon coffee. *G*

Other then that, I've been busy as hell over the past few days. Hallowe'en parties for the girls in their Guide and Brownie groups. Teaghan's Guide group went to the Long Term Care Home for their party. The residents at the home are just so sweet. A few of the 2nd and 3rd year Guides were so excited about going. Last year they had their meetings at the home once a month.Accoding to them it's like going to see your grandparents only you have like 50 of them. LOL

They decorated paper lunch bags for Hallowe'en and then filled them with candies for the Women's Shelter. To be honest I never realized that if a woman is in a shelter with her kids then there is a good possibility it is too dangerous for her to take them "trick or treating". I don't know why this never occurred to me but when it was brought up it made sense.

The girls sang creapy halowe'en songs and visited. As a way to break the ice, it was suggested that the girls take their bags around and have the residents autograph them before they were filled. It was a brillient idea. It gave the girls something to talk about and the resident's got to visit with them all. I had a lovely chat with a woman who calls herself "Nessie". She's from Scotland and hugged everyone who got close enough for her to reach. She was just so sweet, I can't wait to go back and have a chat with her again. She has one son, and wished that all the girls were her daughters, including me. *G*

There was also another woman named Myrtle who is 100 years old. That is very impressive for someone who is 9. Teahgan got all wide eyed and blurted out "WOW you are so lucky to have lived so long!" Myrtle smiled and just nodded her head slightly.

I think I am going to press that we have more meetings there. This is my first year with this group and the new leader kinda wasn't sure about monthly visits. I think it ia great idea for both the girls and the residents. What a wonderful impression to leave on these young girls that you need to remember your elders. They have lived full lives and have so much knowledge to share.

There's nothing behind that curtain

Please ignor the technogoober..
I'm creating a link *G*

Lupus ~ The disease with a thousand faces.

I want to take the time to bring everyones attention to a major disease that many don't know about. World Lupus Day is actually in May, but that doesn't matter. As many of you remember, I lost my aunt a few weeks ago. Her death was a result of a another flare up from this disease. Both my aunts were diagnosed with this disease a long time ago but each has very different symptoms.

I know this is a lot of information but so little is known of this disease that it is vital that the imformation get passed along. Please just take a moment to read about it.

Lupus has been called a disease with a thousand faces because the signs and symptoms vary considerably from person to person. No two cases of lupus are exactly alike. Signs and symptoms may come on suddenly or develop slowly, may be mild or severe, and may be temporary or permanent. Even the distinctive rash that gives the disease its name — "lupus" is the Latin word for "wolf" because doctors once thought the rash resembled a wolf bite — doesn't occur in every case.

Most people with lupus have one thing in common, however, and that's the tendency of the disease to get decidedly worse in episodes called flares and then to improve or even disappear completely for a time.

A few important facts:

* Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease, which affects approximately 50,000 Canadians. In lupus, the immune system that protects the body from germs, viruses and bacteria begins to malfunction and fails to distinguish between the body's own tissues and these foreign invaders. As a result, the immune system attacks different parts of the body itself, causing inflammation in those tissues. This inflammation gives rise to the symptoms that characterize lupus.

* Lupus can affect men, women and children of all ages, However, it develops most frequently in women between the ages of fifteen and forty-five. In this age range, lupus is eight times more common in women than in men. For individuals younger than 15 or older than 45, lupus seems to affect either sex equally.

*Lupus is more prevalent than AIDS, sickle-cell anemia, cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, and cystic fibrosis combined. Research data shows that between 1,400,000 and 2,000,000 people have been diagnosed with lupus. (Study conducted by Bruskin/Goldring Research, 1994)

Test yourself for LUPUS...

~Have you ever had achy, painful and/or swollen joints for more than three months?
~Do your fingers and/or toes become pale, numb or uncomfortable in the cold?
~Have you had any sores in your mouth for more than two weeks?
~Have you ever been told that you have a low blood count(s) - anemia, low white cell count or a low platelet count?
~Have you ever had a prominent redness or colour change in the shape of a butterfly across the bridge of your nose and cheeks?
~Have you ever had an unexplained fever over 100 degrees for more than a few days?
~Have you ever had a sensitivity to the sun where your skin "breaks out" after being in the sun (not a sunburn)?
~Have you ever had chest pain with breathing for more than a few days (pleurisy)?
~Have you ever been told you have protein in your urine?
~Have you ever experienced persistent, extreme fatigue and weakness for days or even weeks at a time, even after 6-8 hours of restful nighttime sleep?
~Have you ever had a seizure or convulsion?

~If you answer "yes" to at least three of these questions, there is a possibility you may have lupus. We suggest you call your doctor for an examination and to discuss any questions you may have about lupus (Taken from the Lupus Foundation of Ontario website)

Lupus International
Lupus Canada
The Lupus Foundation of America

mustwrite, mustwrite, mustwrite

I am beginning to hate my job....well that's not quite right. I still enjoy my job. I just hate the fact that I have to be there 40+ hours a week. On my day off I take the kids to school and am faced with all the moms who know each other and chat away together. They help out at the school and are always home for their kids. I want that too!

Of course this all started with my oldest commenting that she only sees me a little bit anymore because I am always working. Yes insert knife and twist. She was haveing a 'dramatic moment' but still it hurt.

I don't expect that writing will suplement my income, but if I was sucessful enough to work part time a few days a week. I'd be happy with that. That way I could be home with them. At 7 and 9 I don't have many years left before they aren't going to want to spend time with me anymore. I'll be the dorky mum that embarasses them in public. Right now they think I'm funny.

Yea I know your thinking the 'grass is always greener and all that shit'. Sure stay at home moms don't have it easy and work just as hard as the rest of us. Many of them babysit to help cover expenses. Not my cuppa. I'm not looking for the easy way. I just want to spend more time with my kids. I'll be happy to work full time after they have moved out and I am looking for an escape from my husband LOL

Plots and Patterns

Ok I admit it, I have a secret obsession with more then just Supernatural. I also adore Wallace & Gromit. I have for years. Thankfully the girls love them too so I can watch the movies when ever I want and no one ever knows. LOL Of course I kinda let the cat out of the bag right now, but that's ok.

Over the past couple weeks I have finally finished up some knitting projects. One for each of the girls and for hubby. So this morning I started on one for myself. I don't expect I'll finish it. I rarely finish the projects I start for myself, but this one is really funky. I'll post a picture of it when it's done.
Granted starting a new project this close to the end of October isn't the greatest of ideas, but then it will give me something to do during Nov. brainstorming sessions. That pattern is really easy so it's not somthing that I have to follow closely and will distract me.

Last night was one of the most boring nights at work, Honestly I thought it would never end LOL So after writing a letter to a friend. (Yes I occasionally put pen to paper and use snail mail LOL) I started working on the overall act to my trilogy. Good idea until I realized that I might have to change BiS a bit. No point in exposing the baddie at the end of the first book. This also means that I have to have a bunch of clues dispursed through out all three books and still have the romance in each one be the focal point. It's a hell of a project I've created for my self, but if it was simple it would be boring. Hopefully that story turns out a funky as my sweater. *G*

Adam

I find it ironic that his name is the same as the first man according to the bible; and this young man believes in the 'big bang' and reincarnation. Just a hmmmm.

Adam is the name of a 20year old energy healer. This young man has a gift that made an early showing in his life. He was just about 17 or so when he healed a member of my husband's family. Since then he has grown in his own power and has had to make some hard decisions. He no longer does one on one healings, to do so would mean that he would have a line up "from here to China" for the rest of his life. He has chosen instead to teach. According to this young man there is nothing paranormal or magical in what he does. Yes he is much more in tune with the ability but anyone can learn. He kinda makes me think of him as a native shaman or medicine man. Except that he is 15 years younger then me but has an aura about him that is much older.

His is introduced by his father Frank. (I was able to meet both Frank and his wife Liz and they are very wonderful people). Adam steps up to the platform dressed simply in jeans and a polo, a tatto on his arm peeking slightly out from under one sleeve. He looks like a normal college student, but there is something behind his eyes. An old soul?

The first part of the seminar in very scientific. He talks about quantum holograms and energy fields. It is a bit hard to follow in parts, physics was never my strong point, but I managed to keep up. He did say that he simplifies it to make it easier to understand but not so simple that it is no longer accurate. The point he wants to make is that scientists can almost completely prove what he is doing. Science is a bit behind him but he has all the faith that they will catch up. I am not a scientist, but I will do my best to touch on the highlights. He even explained E=MC2 and I understood it. LOL

We (the universe) all started from one energy field and because of that we are all connected. It is through the use of this field he is able to do distance healings. It also means that everything we do affects the universe. Both good and bad.

As a pagan I try to keep in mind the threefold rule. What ever you send into the univers will come back threefold, both good and bad. It sounded like he was saying the same thing. Also the power is in positive thought!

There are two healings over the course of the day. The first he askes for everyone to concentrate on them selves and for the second later in the afternoon he explains how to project to someone else.

I didn't have any problem raising energy. It is the same way you start when you raise a circle before a spell. Also expanding your aural, done that in protective spells for the house. BUT being in a room while everyone around you is doing the same. Now I understand why many pagans form covens. DAMN! It was incredibly powerful. I felt as if I was in the middle of a windstorm, only everthing around me was still. I c0uld envision my hair whipping around my head, but there was never a breeze. Fuck'n amazing is the best I can come up with.

During the second healing I could sense something walking behind me. Now that was impossible because Adam has everyone pull their chairs up close to each other. Trust me NO room to walk. And yet it felt as though soemthing was drifting over my shoulders and back, then there was a strange twitching below my left eye, kind like if someone was lightly stroking my cheekbone. Again no one there. Fasinating, scarey, and exhilerating all at once. Makes me wish I wasn't a solitary. LOL

I've tried to explain it a few ways how he does it but it doesn't come out right. So I've given up. If you have a chance to see him, I highly recommend it. He has also written a few books on his experiences as he learns. They are available through his website and Amazon.

Friday the 13th!!! AAARRRGGGHHH

Just kidding. *G*

Friday the 13th doesn't bother me. It's just another day. Did you know that it originally was thought of as bad luck because the Knight's Templar? It was on Friday the 13th that the Pope ordered the Knight's to be slaughtered. That is what drove them underground, which in turn lead them to creating the Freemasons. It's all really fasinating. My brother has done lots of research on it and fills me in on the more interesting points. The book "The DaVinci Code" uses a lot of Templar/Freemason history for background and plot as well.

Is is just me or is life frick'n flying by! I mean I celebrate my year end on the 31st with Samhain. I am floored by how fast it has gone. The really cool thing is I actually managed to accomplish my goal. I actually have a completed story submitted to an editor. That is just 'da bomb' for me. Sure it's not the story I was planning to have finished...but I think it should count *G*

I've had a couple people email me regarding Adam's seminar I went to on the weekend. I do plan in doing a post for it but there is just so much information! I was VERY impressed by it all and thankfully there was no "hallaluagh" crap that I was worried about. What I am finding hard is trying to discribe it all. While I understand what he was saying, it's difficult to repeat without sounding silly. I can say however is that after what I experienced personally, I don't doubt his abilities whatsoever.

Anything and everything you might want to watch.

Ruh Roh Raggy! I might have found a new addicition. I just lost 2 hours of my life to "YouTube". Don't get me wrong I certaintly don't consider it wasted. In fact if you click on the link you will see one of the many clips I was waching. Yes, I can watch as many highlights from Supernatural as I want! 24/7 baby! and I swear I will never get sick of that show (coughdeancough)

Okay so yea I should be working on BiS and I will... now that I have managed to get myself away from the website. It's really dangerous. They have everything there. Gots some really freaky shit too but for now it is a good way to get a 'fix' between Thursdays.

On the writing front I actually submitted my short story to a real life editor for possible publication if she accepts it. Took be forever to get up the nerve to hit send and then kinda freaked out. I mean what if I missed something or misspelled something? What if I misspelled my own name???

I have been reassured that post submission nerves are normal and to get used to them because they don't go away. LOL Well if it means that I'm 'living the dream', then I think I can handle it. Of course I'm not going to be living much if I don't finish what I have started.

For Nanowrimo this year I am going to work on the sequal to BiS. I am hoping to created a trilogy out of what I have started so I need to find a link or story arc to run through all 3 books. Not the same characters or same conflicts because how boring would that be? But something to tie them together. Aphroditie is featured in every book but she won't have a story to herself. My first story features Hypnos (sleep) and Thanatos (death); ever since I started writing that I figured that my second would feature Bacchus, and my third I'm not sure. I've done some research on Eros but there are so many interesting God/dess' to choose from.

As for my ultimate villian??? I'm not gonna tell *G* Although I already know who it is. No not Hades, poor guy has such a bad wrap. hmmm perhaps I'll feature him in my third, depends on the heroine though. As soon as she introducse herself to me then I can decide which one of those two wil drive her the most nuts.

An interesting oppourtunity

Bright and early tomorrow morning I am heading into Toronto with my mother-in-law to attend one of "Adam's Dream Healer " Workshops. I've know about Adam for a few years now. It's only recently that he has begun to show his face, since he turned 18 I think. Anyways he is a healer that uses quantum holigrams for distance healing.

Yea I know it sounds pretty bazarre, and as much as I want to believe I am a bit skeptical. Just because I am a witch, doesn't mean I believe all the hocus pocus that is out there. I am giving him a lot more credit then I would anyone else simple because I KNOW someone he has healed. About 4+ years ago my husband's uncle was diagnosed with a pancreatic tumour. It was very serious and unoperable. My grampy had the same thing and we lost him in less then a year.

I'm not sure how many treatments it took but hubby's uncle was completely cured. Tumour gone, poof, not there any longer. We know he was not misdiagnosed in the beginning and his illness was progressing at the same rapid speed that it did with my Grampy. No one can explain it aside from the fact that Adam had worked on him.

So the oppourtunity to go to one of his workshops crossed my path. How could I say NO? To be honest I really don't know what to expect. Apparently Adam doesn't do one-on-one healings anymore. He feels that teaching people how to heal them selves and help others is a better way.
So I am excited and more then a bit nervous. I'm not a big fan of being cooped up in a room with a large crowd of strangers, ESPECIALLY when I know the energy level in the room with be high. I'll have to talk my Mother-in-law into sitting near the back or off to the side.

For me if there is something that I can learn that will help my daughter then it will be completely worthwhile. To be honest I think I fear coming out of there with more suspicions.

Funny enough there was an episode of Supernatural last year that dealt with faith healers. When the "healer" cured someone, an unknown innocent died in their place of the same thing.

Ying and Yang, it's all about balance folks.

Wine, geography, wine, men, wine...

It's amazing how much better one feels after a couple glasses of wine. Tonight's selection is the Torres Gran Sangre de Toro Riserva 2001. It's a blend of Garnacha, Carinena & Syrah from Spain. I won't bore you with the details of a proper tasting note. Trust me it's good. LOL

I remember being is school and hating Geography. To be honest I pretty well blew the class off and squeeked by with barely a passing grade. At the time I figured that I "would never need to know geography". If I remember correctly I was going to be a sound mixer in a recording studio therefore geography was a waste of my time. What did I end up becoming?A damn product consultant for the LCBO! Knowing maps of wine making countries is a must as well as microclimates and soil structure. Geesh now I wish I had paid more attention. LOL

On a less then mature note....

Isn't he gorgeous!! Yes, my obsession with "Supernatural" knows no bounds. This is Jensen Ackles (AKA Dean). I try to remind myself that I am 7 years older them him therefor, I really should be *sighing* over men closer to my own age but DAMN!!

You know I think I will use his image as a template for one of my characters in a future book. What do you think? Eros? or Bacchus? *giggle*

I'm wrecked.

Wrecked, Exhausted, Beat, Worn out. You name it, I'm so there. This weekend is a long weekend for us Canucks. Thanksgiving to be exact so of course I was asked about 14 million times "What wine goes good with Turkey?"

That isn't why I am exhausted. We were totally short staffed yesterday and today so I was working stock much more then usual. We had a thousand case load yesterday and the day before, and only 3 of us to work on it. That means we are slugging roughly 333 cases of product each. Believe me some of those scotch cases weigh a ton!

I have completely gotten out of shape in the last couple years. Paritally because I've been spoiled working in store that has a night crew. All the loads and majority of stock work gets done while the rest of the world sleeps. Also with the position I am in now, I wasn't as involved in general stock. But now I'm in a smaller store and help out a lot more with the total stock and not just Vintages stuff.

On the up side this means I don't have to worry so much about working out or a kind of exercise routine because I'll get that at work. The down side, is that it will be a long painful road till my arms, back and especially thighs are back in shape. Right now I am hobbling off to a hot tub followed by a few LARGE glasses of wine. That should make me feel better. *G*

Oh I almsot forgot. My synopsis is written, I think it sucks but I still have a couple days to rewrite it. I'm not touching my short story anymore because I am afriad of overtweeking it. LOL

It's almost that time of year again!

WOW!!! I can't believe it's been almost a year since NaNoWriMo2005.
For those of you who don't know what it is; it stands for National Novel Writing Month. During the month of November thousands of caffine addicted creative types throw all literary rules and grammatical correctness out the window and try to crank out 50,000 words in 30 days.

Sound easy? HA! Try it I dare you! I double DOG dare you!!!

Just click on the title of this post and sign up. I did it last year, and surpassed the 50G mark 1 hour before the deadline. No one has to read what you wrote and despite all my jokes about repeating the same word 50,ooo times I didn't cheat. That I'm proud of.

So I have a bit over a week to get my short story done. I would like to have it ready to submit by Monday morning. That means it will be early and that always looks good. Then I have a couple weeks breathing space then I'm off to Nanoworld. *G*

I broke out in goosebumps...

So one of my girlfriends at work taped the first episode of Supernatural for me. I love her for it. My VCR has hasn't worked in ages. Yes I actually still used that ancient thing LOL

I was working evenings this week and wasn't home till after 10 meaning that I missed it. As soon as I got home last night I popped it into the VCR in my room and snuggled under the covers to watch. No I did not choose my bedroom just because of "Dean" (aka Jensen Ackles) but now that you mention it hhmmmm never mind.

Anyhoo that first episode is awesome. As I had read it picked up right at the moment that last season ended. I want to blab it all but I'm sure that many haven't seen it and I don't want to ruin it. I swear if you watch it you will be hooked for the season. I was completely floored by what they did with the story arc and it confirmed some suspicious that were raised last season. What an intense start. I'll be living from Thursday to Thursday now.

A friend is looking over my short story and dropped me a quick note to let me know that while there are some technical difficulities the plot and characters look good. I'm waiting on pins and needles to see what she has to say. I'm excited and terrified to read her opinion. I never let anyone read my stuff so turning it over for a critique has my guts in knots. LOL

Heading East....really East

In an on going attempt to find help for my oldest daughter we are heading farther East. Not actually moving physically but in our direction of medical aid. She's been going to an Eastern European Naturopath and that isn't working. Not to mention that fact that I have paid this woman almost $500 in the last two months. That's not why we are changing. I have followed the directions to the letter, making up lists on the fridge door so hubby will know how much to give her at what time and all that. But still she isn't sleeping, her frustration level is the highest I've seen in a long time, her outbursts at the school are rising and her self-esteem is falling.

I'm ready to tear my hair out. Had a lovely (snort) talk on the phone with her teacher this morning. She relayed everything my darling frustrating child has been doing in class. All I had to say was "Why didn't you call me?" Hubby was the one how called and left a message yeaterday for her just to touch base. I mean how can we help at home if we have not idea how distuptive she is being at school. Not the mention that teachers have a nack for making you (me) feel like the worse parent on the planet. Which is why I hate parent/teacher interviews. I'll save that tangent for another time.

There is a new Dr. in the mall near us that uses Chinese medicine and actupuncture. We're going to try that route and see if it helps. I have done research on the medications that the school suggested and refuse to put her on them. I don't know maybe it's just me put putting a pre-puberty, hormonal girl on mood altering drugs just doesn't seem the right idea. Call me crazy.

I'm also considering signing her up for some Yoga classes. Maybe if she learns how to calm herself she will be able to control herself a bit better. Right now she says she can't stop them they just happen.

Option A failed so now we are on to Option B and if that doesn't work then I'll figure out an Option C and so on. Until then I'll just keep hiding in my stories after my children go to bed.

Finished the short story and most edits, although I'm sure there will be many more before the 10th. Now I have to tackle the evil synopsis. Although I was thinking about is and a synopsis is really just like a book report I figure. I was good at those in school so I am not anticipating any real trouble, and will no doubt procrastinate until the last minute. LOL The reports I got the highest grades on were the ones I wrote the night before or on the bus on the way to school. Bazarre, but what ever works.

An obvious avoidence of reality

Reality? What exactly is it? I heard it sucks, not interested in paying it any attention.







They're Back!!!!!!!!!!












Mark it on your calendar thrill seakers. This Thursday 9:oopm is the official beginning to the long awaited second season of 'Supernatural'. The first episode is called "In My Time Of Dying" and picks up right after the final episode last year "Devil's Trap". I never thought I would find a replacement for Buffy when they cancelled her but this show fills the void nicely. Best part is one of my coworkers is now addicted to it too (yes I corrupted her) so I will have someone else to babble endlessly with regarding what happens all year. I got Season One on DVD and have been we have been watching it during our lunch hours. LOL

Officially 14 days left till my submission deadline for my short story. I have the story down and need to smooth out the rough sections. I've left a 1,000 word buffer for tweeking and my overuse of adjectives. Although my creative side has taken a beating this week, I am endevoring to work over all of that. Since reality has no meaning for me today I hope to get as much done as possible.

Tomorrow is going to be a brutally emotional day which might burn me out for awhile. But that is tomorrow not today.

Today I plan to stay within the arms of my muse and let him handle reality with the point of his sword.

**added note**

Did you know there is actually a place called Mystic in Conneticut? I was planning on setting my story in New England. Since it has a paranormal theme, how could I not have it unfold it that town? Just perfect *G*

Guilt: (n) the little blob on my shoulder

I've started this post about 5 times. Trying to get the right side of my brain and the left side of my brain back in sinq. It's not working too well. I'm suffering from a lot of self inflicted guilt. I wonder if that's normal or I am just being neurotic.

I haven't broken down over my Aunts death yet. A very strange thing, especially for me who cries during really touching commercials. I figured that we all worked so hard on Saturday keeping it together so that the kids would never know, I kinda burned out my emotional switch. It's feels like I've been floating around the last 48 hours in a numbed state. Then I worry that maybe I am over her death already? I mean despite there only being 7 years between our ages we weren't very close. Even so how horrible would I be if it's true. (My family is a veritable plethora of disfunctionability. The reasons for the estrangement of myself and my aunt don't mean shit now.)

This morning I woke up, got the kids up, dressed, fed, kissed hubby goodbye, normal Monday morning stuff. I don't work till 2 so here I sit. I feel fine. I want to get some work done on my story, I have a few loads of laundry to do, kitchen to clean, pool to close. Normal, Normal, Noraml. Why do I feel so guilty about it?

Not exactly the best of times

Computer got sick last week. That is why I haven't updated in so long. Seems so insignificant now.

My aunt passed away unexpectedly last night so I am pretty fucked up right now. Why am I blogging? I'm venting as usual. Well it's that or curl up in a ball. Some things in life I just do not handle well. This is the big'un.

I'm trying to vent. It's my niece's birthday party today so all us adults are trying to keep it together. We didn't tell the kids, that can wait till tomorrow. I think that is all I'm going to write right now 'cause well I'm just a little too messed up.

You let them watch what!!

My girls have reached the ages where I'm not a hundred percent sure what is and is not appropriate anymore. My husband on the other hand does not have the same hair trigger that I do. Essentially he lets them get away with more then I would. I've started wondering if perhaps I have gotten to the point that I'm I being overprotective?

Keep in mind that my girls are 7 and 9. If I had my way they would still be playing princess and watching Barbie movies. Even I know that is unrealistic for my 9 year old. I don't see anything wrong with keeping kids young. They grow up so goddamn fast already why rush it?? The other side to that coin in that in our world, the naive are taken advantage of.

So what triggered this rant you may ask? I got home from work today and my girls were all chatty about the shows that daddy let them watch *groan*

Now I watch both these shows on occasion and enjoy them. 'Mind Freak' is a little bazarre at times but essentially harmless. Let's face it Criss Angel is an amazing magician and a talented showman. The two of them weren't too impressed with the stunt where he cut himself in half. That creeped me a bit too. I started thinking the perhaps it wasn't so bad because it helped me talk to them about what was real and what wasn't. Sure it looked like he made the cat float and turn pages but it's just a trick. I don't think they believed me but it's a start.

Then there is DOG. A bit violent but he is catching bad guys and taking them to jail. He is sympathetic to others and I have to admit I do like the continual references to how important family is. My 7 year old loves Beth. After being asked why she said "'Cause she is the only girl and she catches bad guys." Good point.

So I have been flipping back and forth between giving hubby hell and resigning myself to the fact that it is ok to let the girls watch some shows that depict another side of life I keep them sheltered from. Just once in a while though.

Fact is: my babies are growing up and I'm not happy about it!

Why is being Healthy so expensive??

Wrote another cheque to the naturopath today OUCH!! I'm trying to do the right thing and help my daughter in a more health conscious way but F**k me! It's expensive. Not to mention the arguments when my daughter doesn't like how something tastes.
Today we discussed her diet and I was given a list of foods she can and can't eat. The main thing. No diary, No wheat and No sugar.

Have you ever noticed how expensive food is in the "healthy" section of the grocery store??

She's 9 what the hell else am I saposed to feed her! Personally I feel that making lunches for school is a form of torture, add to that the fact that I am limited in what I can put in there. aaarrrggghhhh (I'm just venting right now as you can tell.)

Well I guess we'll see what the next few weeks will bring. If it helps and keeps her off any sort of perscription and more importantly helps her sleep then wonderful. I can't wait.

On the writing front my graph moved very little but I was tweekeing some parts of what I had already written. So lots of review and rewriting but very little in the way of new works or great jumps in word counts. My goal is to be at the 12G mark by Monday night. That will leave me 3 weeks to edit it and get it ready for an actual submission. Just the thought makes my heart beat a bit faster.

Support Your Troops!!!!

Yesterday is a heart wrenching day for everyone. Today I read so many well written memorials that I managed to get myself all upset again. But today's upset is a more determined one. I want to help...not fight 'cause I would so suck at that. But supporting the troops that are overseas fighting. Not just those in the Middle East, I did some research and there are LOTS of troop deployments all over the world. Wars and peacekeeping missions that aren't under massive media coverage and get all but forgotten.

There are a lot of sites out there that send pakcages to troops overseas. The one I spent the most time on was AnySoldier.com They have links to lots of branches of the military. I tell you the Americans have TONS of sites to send suport to their troops. It was great to see

So far I haven't found a single one that sends care packages to CANADIAN troops. Are we as a country that lax is supporting the men and women wearing a red Maple Leaf. I hope I'm wrong about that, because I just feel sick about it. I have and Uncle in the Navy and I'll be emailing him to see if he knows of any sites.

That being said I did find one link. CFPSA Canadian Forces Personnel Support Agency. They don't have premade packages that can be ordered and mailed but what is stopping us from making a box up and sending it over?

I found a few addresses, packages can be addressed to "Any Canadian Soldier"

OP ARCHER - Afghanistan
OP ARCHER (5058)
Name / Rank
OP ARCHER
PO Box 5058 Stn Forces
Belleville ON K8N 5W6

OP BRONZE - Bosnia-Herzegovina
BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA
Banja Luka
Name / Rank
*Unit / Section
PO Box 5000 Stn Forces
Belleville ON K8N 5W6

OP CALUMET - Sinai
OP CALUMET
Name/Rank/Initials
PO Box 5237 Stn Forces
Belleville ON K8N 5W6

OP JADE/OP PROTEUS - Jerusalem
OP JADE/OP PROTEUS (5239)
Rank/Name/Initials
Unit/Section
PO Box 5239 Stn Forces
Belleville ON K8N 5W6

All of this started when I read Joe Konrath's Blog and he wrote about sending books over to the troops. Such a simple idea and one that would be immensely appreciated I'm sure. I have a ton of old paperbacks in a box. So today I am boxing up a bunch of them and shipping one out to each of the address above.

No matter which country you live in SUPPORT YOUR TROOPS!!

**NOTE~ After further reading I discovered that if you send a package to "Any Canadian Soldier" It can only contain letters or it will be returned. That sounds so stupid to me. I'm going to look into it further. Maybe if I wrote on the side what the box contains that would be ok; because I was thinking of tossing in some microwave popcorn and hard candies and other little treats for them. I'll let you know what I find out.

Remembering

I don't have to expand on what I have been remembering today. It's something that I'm sure was in a lot of thoughts. It's been 5 years and my chest still gets tight and my throat aches when I think about it. I remember the moment I found out about it. I was at work, we had just heard on the radio that there had been a crash in NYC. We all ran for the tv in the lunch room and while we stood there in shock the second plane hit.

Sometimes I think that I must be a terrible writer since I cannot put into words, what I felt/still feel. I can't imagine how the families of all the souls who passed on deal with it. Day to day I guess. The second most horrifying moment to that was when the first tower crumbled and the newscaster started yelling about how it was full of firemen and policemen. I still get teary just thinking about it.

We're lucky in that in this part of the world, being touched by such evil has a deep effect on us. For all those living in countries torn apart by war, it's a daily occurance.

I'm not trying to be depressing, but I needed to say something.

Taking a day off.

No your eye are not fooling you. My last word update was Thursday night. Does that mean I have stopped, Hell no. I'm just taking a bit of a break. I'm making good time, so I can afford a day or two to spare. I'll make it up tomorrow. There are a couple spots that concern me. Little details that will drive me nuts.

Funny thing is my normal hangups I don't seem to have a problem with. Names...check.
Location...check. I guess because I am working under guidelines I am stressing about that. Now really the guidelines are VERY general.

It has to be a Christmas story. Only 12,000 words.

Now how can someone stress about that? Welcome to my brain!

For now I am enjoying a glass of wine and the fact that tomorrow is my day off. I can sleep in (hahahahahahahaha) and putz around with my story all afternoon. When the girls aren't bugging me that is. Watch that count it will move tomorrow. It had better move tomorrow or I will really have something to stress about.

Just a spit over half way

It's getting there. I did a bit of a jump tonight. I was getting hung up on the details all day and I knew I had to get a good amount done in order to keep on schedule. So I jumped ahead a bit got the black moment and ending written.
Well more like a detailed sketch of it all; still a start that I can tweek and polish after it is all done.

Now usually I find naming my characters difficult but this time they agreed failry quickly. Holly and Brand. No I;m having a dispute over hair colour. I've written Holly as a blond and Brand with sandy brown hair. According to Holly this evening she has Red hair and Brand is the blond. *sigh* Not sure if I agree with her but for now I'm letting her have her way. She's a little bratty and I want to keep her talking.

I still fear I'm going to have too many words by the time it's done. Better too many then not enough I guess. I'll just be editing things out and tightening it up a bit here and there. Of course while I was writing I realized not only do I need a good detail why this is happening at Christmas but I also need an incantation of sorts or spell would be a better term. Dammit.

Well I'll worry about that later, next week. This week I am concentrating on getting the basic story done. Late next week I will add and improve my descriptive stuff. You know all the stuff that's not dialogue LOL.

I'll jsut leave a big ???? for that parts that need the actual spell and then I can add it later when it comes to me.

Sounds easy huh? I wish

12 thousand just isn't a whole lot anymore

I remember a few years back when I made my first attempt at serious writing. It was a contest put on by Harlequin. They had one of their authors write the beginning of a short story and then the contestants had to finish it less then 5 thousand words.

I remember thinking that 5 thousand was so much. I was used to doing RPG's, from 1 POV, where if you cranked out a few hundred it was considered a big post.

I got it done, still have it hidden somewhere too LOL. Not my greatest work (coughsucksrocks)but I am proud of the fact that the goodie two-shoes they had created as the hero; Well I managed to turn it around and make him a obsessed psychopath. The Heroine fell in love with the misunderstood tattoo ridden biker. *G* Obviously I didn't win. I will admit the writing is rough and riddled with gramatical mistakes. My only goal with that one was to actually enter it. It took me a good 20 minutes to hit the send button and then I panicked for another 20. But it was a learning experience.

I've attemped other small goals here and there. Accommplished a few. Missed a few. I did managed 50,000 in 30 days last year for NaNoWriMo. It was 35% crap but the rest of it morphed into "Believeing is Seeing". It's on the back burner now. I have to take a fresh look at it in a few weeks.

Oh damn I'm off track again. Right now I am working on 12 thousand and it's just not enough words. I am almost at 4 grand and the 2 main characters have just met. I have to get them into bed, fun/funky sex, fall in love, have a black moment and HEA in only 8 thousand words. Oh Shit!

The rational part of my brain suggested that I could just gloss over the sex part, do a closed door thing. My creative side is still laughing hysterically.

Man I have over a month to get it done and I am alredy stressing myself out. The black moment happens Christmas eve/Morning, but why? I mean it is a christmas story but the idea I have could occur at any given holiday not just the cold one so there fore what is the point. I have to get more detailed. I need a reason WHY Christmas and not any other holiday.

So far my creative side is stuffing its self with chocolate and my muse is off practicing with his sword. That's what I get for having a pagan muse. Stay tuned I'm sure I will have it all figured out by tomorrow.
...or maybe the next day
.....the weekend at the latest.

The dawn of a new school year YEH!!!

Officially ending the summer. *sad sigh*

The munchkins headed off to school today, armed with spaking new book bags, pencils, glue sticks and assorted gadgets. I just got home and am debating on pouring a blob of celebratory baileys in my coffee and doing a happy dance at the end of the driveway. You know if everyone on the street did it, that would be a hoot. I need to find a neighborhood where everyone is as strange as I am.

I need to get any extra exercise I can. We were at Ribfest this weekend. Aaarrggghhh *drooling. Damn it was soo good. The weather sucked rocks but surrounded by gallons of BBQ sauce no one cared LOL. I think this picture is from last year of a brief moment on Saturday when the sun made an appearance for about 3 minutes. I didn't take it I nicked it from a ribfest website. We were there on Sunday, overcast, rainy, but not as crowded. Smaller crowds means the line-ups are a bit shorter. So this year we hit "Bibbs Ribs" cause they rock every year. Also we tried "Porky's and Beans" Hubby has a new favourite. I managed to get 2 ribs out of the rack, almost lost a finger when grabbing the second.
Ribs to Hubby is like Truffles to Me.
As I've mentioned before I go for the beans *sigh* They kill your digestive system but damn they taste good. Only 360 more days till Ribfest 2007.

My word count is progressing along I am happy to say. So far I'm averaging about a grand a day which I figure is a good pace. That should give me (hopefully enough) time to tear it into pieces and get all the needed editing done.

Speaking of which I had better see why my fevered brain can come up with this morning. I've got a few hours before I have to be at work. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

A rather Mathmatical morning...I need more coffee

Math is not really one of my strong points but I've always found the theorys interesting in small amounts LOL. There are a couple spacific numbers that show up in life regularly enough to really to spark my interest. The problem with math is that I can understand how something works in my head but not be able to put it into words. Which is why I'll pepper this post with links to places that can explaim it better then I

First is the Divine Proportion 1.618. Also known as Phi. It's really intereting how often this number shows up in nature. If you have ever read the Da Vinci Code then you know what I am talking about. For example of you take the measurement from your shoulder to your fingers and divide it by the measurement from your elbow to your fingers guess what you get?

Then there is the Number 3.
The Goddess - Maiden, Mother, Crone
The christian God - Father, Son, Holy Spirit
The three divisions of time - past, present and future.
The three persons in grammar - me, myself and I.
The three kingdoms of matter - animal, vegetable or mineral.

Then there is another favourite of mine the tv show Numb3rs It's one of the few that I actually watch out for the season premier.

What the hell is all this about you might ask? Well I have a new word count up and this is an elaborate way of trying to justify it. I think my brain works better if I work on 3 things at once. Yea that's it.
It's just for short term. I want to see if I can make a goal that was not set by me. So I have until the beginning of October to have a completed 12,000 word manuscript on somthing that has to do with Christmas.
Can I actually do it? Only time will tell. But if I can't then I really am going to have to take a good hard look at how committed I really am to the ultimate goal of being published.

Hobby or future career. I can't play forever.

Ernesto decided to come for a visit

And I can't wait till he leaves!!! Damn storm had to show up on the Labour Day weekend too. How rude. LOL

So today is chilly and rainy. More like what a May 2-4 weekend is like rather then the last 'hurrah' of the summer. This weekend is the annual "Ribfest" downtown. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Hopefully the rain will lay off for a couple hours tomorrow afternoon so we can go down. Who am I kidding we will go anyways, it will just be more fun if we aren't cold and wet.

Hubby goes for the meat, I don't mind that but my favourite part is the baked beans. mmmmmmmm beans on toast. My favourtie last year was from a place called "bibbs Ribs" If I remember correctly they are out of Naples Florida. There was another place too, I think it was called Camp 21...or Alabama 21 or they are from Alabama. I can't remember the name but I remember the BBQ.

So I'm planning to cozy up tonight in a fuzzy sweatshirt and ratty jeans and write. Might want to add a large glass of red wine or two as well. It is Saturday after all.