A new view to the world

Here we are at the start. Big original window that let the heat out and kept our main floor chilly. They had to cut out each pane of glass to remove it.

Oh man now it's getting chilly in here!

Just to give you an idea of how far it extends from the front of the house. Those are called pewter prairie grills. It adds a nice design with out being too much.

Of course they couldn't get the job done in one day, it just gets gets dark too early. So they have to come back and finish off the bottom and put the siding back up on the house. Already I can tell a big difference in the internal temperature. The ugly blinds are back up for now. We still have to put the trim up on the inside and I get to shop for something new and much prettier in hang over the window.

Yes, Truly I am still alive

Yikes!! Time has really flown since last I posted anything on here. In still up to my eyebrows and higher with stuff, but here is a bit of a cheat. I'm just nearing the end of NaNoWriMo for this year, so I can't commit to much for for another few days. next week I will do my best to get caught up and back on track. Until then...

Thirteen Things that have happening since my last post. 1~ Went to Florida 2~ Wrote 32,356 words on a new novel for NaNoWriMo 3~ Finished a lace shawl 4~ Celebrated my 12th wedding anniversary 5~ Had the old front window replaced with a gorgeous bay window 6~ My youngest daughter broke her arm 7~ Got an early start on my holiday shopping 8~ Got an early start of my yule gifts 9~ Listened my Apocalyptica cd approximately 500 times 10~ Worked way too many hours 11~ Got a Zune. (I love it) 12~ Got my second rejection letter from a publisher. 13~ Developed a fondness for shawls. #2 is started, #3 is planned.

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Don't know what it is, but I know what I like.

For the longest time I couldn't say that I had a favourite art style. Not that I didn't like anything, just I didn't know what it was called. Well I finally figured it out. Art Nouveau

I have old papers from when I was about 16 with all these doodles on them. Swirling branches that curl in here and there. All of it very romantic and colourful. All of them the same style over and over.
I purchased this frame in an antique store in Tiverton, Ontario. Having fallen in love with it the moment I saw it. The handsome couple in there are my Gran and Grampy. There was a beautiful small mirror as well and I didn't buy it. The frame alone was a touch pricey for my budget at the time. To this day, I am still pissed off because of course when I went back for the mirror, it had been sold.

Then I won a set of small tarot cards from author Robin D Owens. Guess what style the pictures are in. Gorgeous! Love them!!

What am I getting at with all this you might be wondering? I'm still planning my tattoo and I now have a style in mind. I think it would be perfect for me, and something I will never get sick of. The most important part is finding a tattoo artist familar with it.

My Grampa

The Roberts Clan has been dealt a staggering blow with the loss of their beloved Laird.



George MacIntosh Roberts
1925 - 2008

Under a fog of woodsmoke and burnt BBQ sauce

It's that time of year again. The Labour Day weekend marks an important event around these parts.
RIBFEST



Over a hundred and thirty thousand people descended into Spenser Smith park this weekend, unleashing their inner carnivore. That is a lot of people. Last year the Ribbers went through over 90,000 pounds of ribs.

Wow

In light of the Maple Leaf Meats scandal I wondered if that would have an effect on this weekends turnout. Not in the slightest if the crowds that were there today were any inclination. Or perhaps it was the relief of eating something that had been cooked right in front of them.

Either way it was all good. I have come to the conclusion that getting pulled pork sandwiches is the way to go. For $6.00 I get a sandwich stuffed with more meat and sauce then I can finish. Bonus is I can bring it home for a late night snack. That is a hell of a deal when you consider that a full rack of ribs is $20.00.

But then eating the meat out of a bun isn't as much fun as gnawing is right off a steaming bone. LOL

I have a couple of great pictures but they will have to wait until I can find the cable that attaches my camera to the computer. Damn I knew I should have gotten a hot pink one.

Change

***Warning 'F' bombs abound. If ya don't like 'em. Then go here.***

So Change, Pretty fuck'n scary if you ask me. I find myself, at the young age of 37 faceing just that. I have been offered an oppourtunity at a new job. In a similar field to what I work right now, but I'll will be leaving the security of a union position with the government and facing the UNKNOWN.

I'm shitting a brick.

On one hand I have to think about the morgage, the kids, the cost of living...ON THE OTHER HAND>>> I am being offered almost the same $$$ a few more benefits but there isn't the security that I have right now.

It's not that I am unhappy with my job.I love the store that I am in at the moment. I adore my manager, but that can change in a moments notice with a call that says I am being transferred to HELL. (it's happened before)

Life is an adventure right? That is what my hubby tells me. He is being so very supportive and wants me to go for it and see what happens. I am a bit more concerned. Fuck, I am so concerned.

What if in 6 months I decide that I have Royally fucked up. Then what. I could beg my job back, but knowing this company, I will have to start back at the bottom and work my way back up. That would so SUCK!

On the other hand, I have an incredible opportunity at something that I would be good at.

Fuck, I am running out of hands.

Do I jump or do I stay in a job that is already feeling confining?

Only time will tell.......




TO BE CONTINUED

Yes, another month passes

I wish I had something interesting to say but life just keep going on. Nothing really new. Sorry.

But here is something for you. I read about it on The Goddess Blogs.

I dare you, watch the entire thing and don't smile. You can't do it. At some point your lips will curl and you will feel better. Maybe it's the music, maybe it's the silly little dance, but it's a feel good moment.

Allow me to introduce you to Matt.
14 months in the making, 42 countries, and a cast of thousands. Here is his 2008 video.



This did strike a chord in me personally. My niece flew to Sao Paulo, Brazil on Monday. She is part of the Rotary Youth Exchange and will be living there for a year. I know she is going to have the most amazing experience of her life, but I already miss her.

Where did the month go?

Wow it's been a month since I posted something here. I feel so bad. LOL

Life has just been flying by...I would appreciate it slowing down a bit since the faster it goes he faster I reach 40. Not something I've completely prepared for.

Also most of what I have been doing is writing which is documented here, and knitting which is gabbed about here.

I'm on the lap top again because our main 'puter has suffered 2 major virusus this month and frankly will have to wait till I have more $$ to take it back to the shop.
Aside from the file I would like retrieved I will gladly have the thing completely whiped and take it downstairs for the girls. I set up a wireless network in the house. It is much more convenient working on a laptop.

Tomorrow is July 1st and there are already some fireworks going off so I have to go sit with Karma. She gets all freaked out by the noises.

More tomorrow....

Note:
I just found my brother's birthday present.




It's ok if you don't understand. It's a long running joke between me and my younger brother. I'm tempted to order us both shirts in matching colours.

There was a time when we would go to great lengths to trap each other into saying the dreaded response... even phoning at 3 in the morning and asking "Guess What?!"

Chicken Butt!!!.

They even have a page in the Urban dictonary about it. Check it out here.

I seriously can't believe someone actually put it on a shirt. This is the best!

My boy

Chewbacca is getting so big. He's just about 16weeks old and almost as big as his mum. Still a big ol'baby though. He has an addiction to socks and Ryleigh's shoes. Not sure why,but it's always Ryleigh's shoes. I'm thinking that she is feeding them to him so that the little fashion plate can get a new pair. My baby girl has inherited her mother's addiction to pretty footwear.

Sunday morning baking

I've been trying to get in the habit of baking something every Sunday. I used to bake all the time when I first got married, and before that, but after the girls were born it just seemed like there wasn't enough time. My husband has mentioned a few times how much he misses it....(well one more time and I'd refer to it as nagging)

So today, after our "way too early" morning Gymnastics practice with our youngest. I decided to make a batch of Chelsea buns.

Grease the pan and set aside for later......
450 F 12-15 min.......just watch them sugar burns!

2 cups all purpose flour
4.5 teaspoons Baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons shortening
1 cup milk
Mix the dry
Blend in the shortening
Add the milk

Dump onto a well floured surface Mold into a ball, roll out slather with marg, lots of brown sugar and cinnamon out to the edges...raisins....slurp

Roll em out
cut em up

One batch will fit an 8" round cake tin you should get about 6 buns

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sounds easy right?... Well it is. My mum has made them a hundred thousand times and I have made them hundreds of times. Although I will admit it's been ages since I made any.

I've been cleaning like a mad woman knowing that my reward when I took a break was going to be a nice cuppa and a bun.

My moment arrived, I finally sat and broke off a piece anticipating ambrosia in the form of brown sugar, cinnamon and raisens.

WTFBBQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what I was thinking, but I put in 4.5t of Baking SODA!!!!!!!

Fuck.

Hubby has gone out and now I have to whip up a fresh batch before he gets home. Because I am not about to admit what I just did.

Another thing, the taste of soda does not leave the back of your throat for a very long time.

I Owe My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going
to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't
exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

1! 7. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck
that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll under stand."

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"


I love you Mum

The funniest man ever......

Russell Peters

Can you see the difference?

This is Chewbacca

And this is Chewbacca.

Okay so my Chewie hasn't done anything cool like fly the Millenium Falcon, but he is small enough to curl up on my lap. Although given the size of his paws that may not last too long.

He finally caught up!!

Happy Birthday Honey!!!

(woohoo no more old person comments LOL)

He's officially ours!

Choosing a puppy is hard enough but trying to choose out of a litter of 9 when you really love them all is nigh impossible. But the choice had to be made and this little guy is the one who will be staying with us. We jokingly called him Bear a couple weeks ago and the name stuck. Hubby mentioned that we could change it but I can't think of anything else I'd rather call him.

He's five weeks old today and is no longer the hugh one. LOL A couple of his litter mates have caught up to him, which is good. The rest of them are doing fine and getting. Having 9 is a lot of work but I'm going to miss them when they go to their new homes.


Riblet update: I'm doing much better, it's been a bit over two weeks now and while I'm still uncomfortable for the majority of the time it's no where near as painful as it was. Two night ago I woke up in the middle of the night in such agonizing pain. I swear I hear a "crack" in my ribs and felt something snap. I guess I stretched in my sleep and my rib muscles weren't up to it yet. sheesh

Good news is I'm not grunting, muttering ouch, or whimpering every time I move, so that is a definite improvement!

This is March!

Once again someone forgot to pay the hydro bill to Mother Nature and she nailed us with a white reminder notice. I'll be staying in the house today, the last thing I need to go is go out there and wipe out. It's too bad too because as much as I hate snow, this would be a perfect tobogganing day. I do love tobogganing.

Instead I'll hang inside and knit. I've gotten a bit more mobility back but the pain is more intense today. I'm not sure if it's because any internal swelling has gone down or the damaged muscles have tightened or a combination of both. I can take a deep breath but if I shift my weight the wrong way it feels like a knife under my ribs.

Didn't hear back from the radiology lab on Friday so now I'll have to wait till Monday to find out the X-ray results. Not that it really matters, when it comes to ribs- bruised, cracked or broken, nothing can be done. The only difference is recovery time.

I had planned to drive up to my brother's tomorrow and have a visit with my family but I honestly don't think I can handle a 2.5 - 3 hour drive (and that's if the weather doesn't turn nasty half way up there.) Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow because the girls are already moping at the possibility that they will be separated from the cousins for any longer.

Stupid Thing I have done #394

The short version is I squished myself between the delivery door and the tow motor at work. Hurting the left side of my rib cage in the process.

The extended version is: A tow motor is a big machine that we use to move skids of products. I was backing up to plug it in to recharge it and misjudged how close I was to the garage door. Now this guy does pretty much stop on a dime and has tons of safety features but flukes happen. I didn't get out of the way quick enough and the corner of the drive handle got shoved up under the left side of my rib cage.

I'm sure my height was my saving grace, I ended up on my tip toes before getting completely out of the way. Had I been shorter I could have been more seriously injured, or perhaps not at all because the handle would have moved up into the resting positing and never caught my rib cage in the first place.
It happened so fast that even my co worker who was looking right at me almost didn't see it. No skin broken but I had to go to the clinic to have them looked at because it happened at work.

Attilla the Hun came in and poked around, almost sending through the ceiling, then I was off for x-rays. Won't hear back till later today if I broke or cracked any ribs. most likely I have bruised all the muscle tissue. Hurts like a bitch.

It took 5 pillows before I found a comfortable position to get some sleep. I don't think I'll be going into work today. Can't sit comfortable and can't stand for too long. I might as well stay home and irritate the ones I love. LOL

My birthday present.

After all the complaining in my previous post, I wanted this one to be a bit more upbeat. Birthdays suck and all that but there is nothing you can do to stop them. LOL

So hubby has been pestering (re:nagging) me about what I wanted for my birthday. Really I don't need anything and trying to come up with suggestions for an event, I wasn't to thrilled about was pissing me off. Here is where I have to say my husband loves the fact that I am 26 days older then him. And for 26 days every year he inundates me with old person comments. These don't bother me because I know he is only teasing. This year I have been a bit more sensitive then usual so of course the comments are coming much more frequently.

The balloons in the picture below were delivered to my work for me. (by him he snuck in and then snuck out) Which goes to show how well he knows me. I appreciate a balloon bouquet much more then a flower one. And I even got a balloon from all the puppies LOL

For my gift,since I didn't tell him anything specific, he improvised. A very dangerous thing if you don't know my hubby's sense of humour.

I got a construction paper book tied together with yarn. The girls decorated the pages with pictures and he wrote the inscriptions....

page 1) Tim Hortons gift card
"Because you are old you may need more coffee now. It will help you kick start that heart of yours."

page 2) Shoppers Drug Mart gift card

"Shoppers is an ideal store for old people. They sell Depends, seeing eye glasses and lots of drugs"

page 3) La Senza gift card

"You may need a new bra now that you are older. The girls won't sag as much."

page 4) Chapters gift card

"Chapters has lots of books on getting old. They even have large print."

page 5) HBC gift card

"Bay and Zellers have lots of old people stuff. Tuesdays are seniors day."

I laughed so hard as I turned the pages. The pictures that the girls drew are really funny too. It made me feel much better and I started feeling silly for being so cranky about it all. Of course I still have 20 days of old person comments to put up with before he catches up with me.

The craziness that is my life

Sometimes I wish for a boring life, but then what fun would that be?

Haven't posted for a while, not from a lack of things to say but mainly because our computer got wiped by a couple nasty viruses. Not my fault!!! **pointing at my lovable hubby** He did it! So a week at the 'puter hospital and she is back to normal...just with a bad case of amnesia.


Puppies are doing well and growing fast. They are 3 weeks old today. All their eyes have opened and they are hearing better. The litter can be sound asleep but if Chris or I walk into the kitchen speaking then they start jumbling about. A couple have already started these mini barks. It's so cute....I may change that opinion in another week or two. LOL All nine have survived. I will admit to being worried with such a large litter. I was a little concerned about peanut and button, they are the two smallest, but they are doing well and while a bit smaller then the rest they're thriving. Bear is doing the best, by the name you get an idea of his size. He's also the biggest suck of them all and sleeps with his tongue hanging out.

I turned the big 37 this weekend. Thanks to everyone for the notes, posts, cards and emails. While I'd like to say my age doesn't bother me a bit, I was pretty much a bitch right up to the day. I remember my mum being my age and that is a bit freaky. I'm not my age in my brain, I know a lot of people feel have said that and I really truly understand what they are thinking. My pants aren't fitting as well as they used to but the scales in the bathroom haven't changed. Then I remembered my Gran complaining that as she got older she got thicker around the middle until she was feeling like a rectangle.
Oh Shit.
Maybe I'll take up wearing a corset? Have one of my lower ribs removed?

Suffering Withdrawl

As I type this I am on my hubby's work laptop. Why you might ask am I not on our computer? Well my very intelligent husband did something not so intelligent. This not so intelligent move involved a popup and his allowing a download figuring that after it was done he would just erase what was there. Yea, that is a big ass NO.

So the computer is in the shop what they try to get rid of 2 nightmare viruses. It's bad...real bad. Last check they were scanning the computer for the third time in hopes that they had it. Originally we were to have the computer back by Thursday evening. Now if we are very lucky it will Tuesday or Wednesday.

He only figured out how to get this hooked up last night, by then we were both sweathing and suffering the shakes. He was worse then me because I could surf a small bit at work, enough at least to check emails.

Keep you fingers crossed that those nasty bugs get erased and our computer comes back safe and sound. At least now hubby won't be so against spending the money on a good anti-everything system. No matter what it costs, I expect it will still be cheaper then the bill from the computer shop.

The Scottish Haka

Just a bit of backstory before you watch the clip. The Haka is a traditional NewZealand Dace performed by all members of the tribes. The All Blacks (NZ Rugby Team) preform one before every international match. It's very cool and you can see them getting charged up as they dance it.

This commercial cracked me up. Warrior to Warrior Never underestimate the Scottish form of intimidation.

How I spent my Monday afternoon

Got a frantic phone call from hubby just at lunch time. So much for the story about dogs having puppies around 10 at night. Ours decided a freezing cold Monday afternoon suited her just fine.

Thankfully our friend, Chris, works nearby so she popped in to make sure that everything was ok. She breeds small dogs and had been around for lots of births. She made it just in time for the first one and stayed till the third. I'm helping to clean up number 4, a little boy. He started sucking on my finger right away. Not bad for being 10 seconds old. Things slowed down after number 5 and we thought we might get one of two more. Two more were born, Karma went out for a pee and then came back in and had another one. I freaked since I did'nt know she had, with 7 puppies in the way she couldn't get to her hind end I guess. I moved her tail and saw a little one there still in the sac. I freaked (yea yea I know) so I ripped the bag open and brought her closer to karma's face. She took care of what she needed to and I made sure the little beastie was squeeking.

After all that it was some well neeeded down time for us and her. Too much excitement. I popped out to put some gas in the car and on the way back Chris (hubby) called my cell. He had gone up to check on her and found another wet one. LOL
That makes a total of nine. I was terrified she might have more but thankfully that was it.


Final order: 1 girl, 3 boys, 3 girls, then 2 boys. Mommy and babies are doing fine.

I know I'm a day late

I know it's Friday but lets just pretend that I am ontime for once ok?
I got tagged by Mechele Armstrong. She actually tagged me to do 16 instead of the regular 13 which I guess is fair since I am a day late. I already did one list for my alter ego Corinne Davies. I'm going to try to attempt to do this one with out repeats. Yikes!



Thirteen or so Random things about FeyRhi
The mission: list sixteen random personal facts or habits, and then pick twelve of my friends to tag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1.) I have been an active member of Neopets for 66 months.

2.) I believe that life is too short to drink bad wine.

3.) My dog is going to have puppies any moment.

4.) I dropped out of school when I was 16 because I knew everything.

5.) I went back to highschool in 1990 at the ripe old age of 19, when I realized I didn't know everything. (Graduated in '92!)

6.) I write historical romances and paranormal erotica. When I grow up I want to be a published author.

7.) I think that Monty Python consisted of a group of comedic geniuses.

8.) I suffered with dibilitating panic attacks for years, believing I was the only one. (this was long before anyone had ever heard of them)

9.) My palate can withstand tasting 75 - 80 different alcoholic products before it looses its sensitivity. (No, you do NOT swallow at a tasting, you spit. Yes, we have heard all the jokes.)

10.) I KNOW Ontario wines kick ass. (Henry of Pelham Reserve Baco Noir)

11.) I have a girl crush on Angelina Jolie

12.) My husband drives me insane on a regular basis but he is my rock. I can't imagine life without him.

13.) I would like to loose 20 lbs. I have a sweet tooth that prevents this.

14.) I miss my Aunti Sue so much.

15.) I believe in the faery. They are not what Disney would have you believe.

16.) One of my most favourite artists is John William Waterhouse. A copy of The Lady of Shalott [on boat] hangs in my dining room.



As for tagging I welcome anyone who wants to try. it's cool trying to think stuff up. Just make sure you make a comment so I know that you did it!

I've never been so disgusted....

Well I'm not sure if this is the worst, but it ranks in the Top 5.

I'm watching tv and one of these "buy now before it's too late" commercials come on. You know the type.

And what are they flogging this time?

Commemorative coins marking the 5th anniversary of 911. Complete with a second pressing silver relief of the twin towers that stands up proud with the gold coin as a background. "Guaranteed silver is from the heart of ground zero". All the while the star spangled banner is playing in the background as this professional voice drones on about limited availability and limit of 5 per order.

How many fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, sons and daughters died that day. What about the families that carry a never healing wound within their soul because of that day. What about the loss of innocence that day took? Don't forget the war that is still being fought and soldiers that are being killed on a daily basis.

And now some asshole is going to make a shit load of money from it.

Fuck'n disgusting if you ask me.

Interior decorating

Now if I ever get an official writing space, I'll know just how to decorate it.

Thanks to Red Green....

If only I had found you sooner.....

I know I have mentioned here many times about my 10 year old daughter's sleeping habits...or lack there of. She suffers from high anxiety, night terrors, and insomnia which are aggrivated by and in turn aggrivate all the issues she has to deal with during the day at school. We suspect that she has Asburgers to top it all off which means she has an even more difficult time understanding or processing some things.

I have tried every type of NON PHARMACEUTICAL sleep aid I come across. Anything to help her, homeopathic doctors, changes to her diet, etc. My coworker turned me on to a flower based homeopathic product during christmas. It calms the nerves and helps you focus if you are spazzing out. You let 4 drops sit on your tongue and honesty you feel like you just smoked a big fatty. (My words not hers.)

Well the other day I was draging my ass at work because Teaghan had me up numerous times in the night and she suggested I try giving her some. Well duh I hadn't even thought of it. (Probably because I make stoner jokes in regards to it LOL)

Off I went to Whole Foods and while I wandered around in there I found a balm that is toated to help you sleep. Yea couldn't pass that up either. So $25.00 later I am armed. That night I put 4 drops in a half glass of water and had her drink it and then smeared the balm on her neck and temples.

SHE WAS ASLEEP 30 MINUTES LATER, I shit you not. I can't remember the last time my child was asleep before 11 or 12 at night. And SHE WAS SNORING!
TO top it all off..

SHE SLEPT ALL FUCKING NIGHT!!!!

Yes we must use that word because you don't understand what a momentious occasions this is. In the morning I had a moment of panic that something terrible had happened because she never woke me up. She was still sleeping, in the same position LOL

I used it again last night and the same thing happened, she slept, I slept, her dad slept. The house was quiet, there were no foot steps, crying or "mommy I'm scared".

Gods I wish I had found them 10 years ago.




Bach's Rescue Remedy

Badger Sleep Balm