Tis the season...

It's been almost 4 months since I posted something here. To be honest I really didn't have anything to say. Life went up. little ups and downs here and there, but really nothing that I thought would be blog worthy. The longer time went by the more I thought a post should be significant. I wish I hadn't thought that.

Today, something terrible happened. I've carried it around all day a heavy weight on my soul that tarnished this season for me.

Today, a poor soul pulled his car into the parking lot of my work place. He got into the back seat of his car and slashed his wrists. I don't know how long he was there but at one point a car pulled up next to him and a woman got out of the car and happened to look into the back seat of his car. She phone the ambulance. Inside the store we had no idea of what was going on. It's only human nature to look out the window when you see flashing lights. The ambulance pulled up and the red and blue lights shone all the way to the back of the store where my section is. I saw the paramedics roll him into the back of the ambulance. I didn't recognise him, he's a senior citizen and his face is imprinted on my memory forever.

I have to assume that if a person tries to commit suicide in the parking lot of a liquor store on a Saturday morning, he doesn't really want to die. It had to be a cry for help. The heartbreaking part is, last I heard, they didn't expect him to make it.

I spent the rest of the day looking at my customers. So many people walking around looking angry or frustrated or so concerned about what perfect wine to buy for their holiday dinner.

No matter what your religion is, because really it doesn't matter. Do me a favour. EVERY DAY! Smile at a stranger. Say 'HI' to someone that looks sad. Volunteer at a senior centre for a couple afternoons one weekend. If we all tried to connect with those around us, wouldn't that make this world a better place to live?

It's been awhile....

I'd use the excuse that it's summer but really this week is the first that actually feels like my favourite season. Hot, Humid, Sticky, Yeah baby bring it on!. Winter is way too long in this country so I welcome the sun with open arms.

It feels as though I have been trapped under a mountin of things that need to be done and I never have enough time. Really who wants to hear me complain about all that anyways. I actually have something to talk about.

Today was our second appointment at McMaster Children's Hospital and after 3 hours of testing we recieved the official diagnosis. My Fey Princess has Asperger's Syndrome. Not a big shock since we have suspected this for a very long time. To be honest I didn't want an official diagnosis. My fear being that some jerk will tell her she can't do something. I never want her not to try because she has Aspergers.
BUT (and it's a big BUT)
I can't get her the help she NEEDS from the school board, without the diagnosis. Hello Mr Rock and Mr Hardplace. She is going into highschool in a few years and without any extra help she will quicky fall through the cracks and be lost. That's a risk I'm not willing to take.

We spoke to her about it and while she doesn't completely understand what it is, she is happy to hear that she will get more help in school and that she isn't the only person.


Famous Aspergerians

Albert Einstein, Alan Turing
Al Gore, Andy Kaufman
Andy Warhol, Bill Gates
Bob Dylan, Carl Jung
Hans Asperger, Henry Ford
Isaac Asimov, Isaac Newton
Jane Austen, Mark Twain
Michael Palin, Mozart (could be ADHD instead)
Nikola Tesla, Thomas Jefferson
Vincent Van Gogh, Woody Allen

Aspergers characters in film and TV series:

Commander Data from Star Trek Next Generation
Mr Spock from Star Trek Original Series
Rodney McKay from Stargate Atlantis
Seven-of-Nine from Star Trek Voyager
Chauncy Gardener, played by Peter Sellers in Being There is a particularly good portrayal
Jerry Espenson from Boston Legal (and also possibly Tourette Syndrome)

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

Thankfully the rain held off today and we actually got a few bits of sun. Took the kids and dogs to Lowville and visited the trails and played in the river. it was a lot of fun and reminded Chris and I how we used to do stuff like this all the time when the kids were young. Sadly we have gotten very lazy about going anywhere now that we have a house with a pool. Pool is great but I had forgotten how much we enjoy heading out somewhere and have fun.

So we all decided that we are going to do our 'Sundays' again and actually go somewhere else other then the backyard.

I try not to speak ill of the dead.

It seems like everywhere I look today there are tributes to Michael Jackson. I know I'm not going to be popular in my views but really does the general public that this short of a memory.

This was a man who was just not right, and was probably more messed up then anyone ever knew.

Does mean I am glad to see him dead? No, of course not. Having a person's life end when they are only half way through it, is sad. On the other hand, the world is short one pedophile and his children might have a chance at a normal life. As long as there isn't some sort of long drawn out custody battle. Anyone else remember what happened to Anna Nicole's daughter? At least that little girl wasn't old enough to understand, the Jackson children are much older then that.

But to see everyone carrying on about his death like they are? There was a time when he was a talented musician, who I hope enjoyed his life and his music. Long before the plastic surgery, and extreme behaviour. He was the SELF-APPOINTED king of pop, it's not like he won a contest or anything.

To carry on like the music business will never be the same again? I think that's insulting to all the musicians out there that are incredibly talented, and don't rely on outrageous behaviour to bolster their sagging careers.

GOLD!!!

The kidlets last competition this year was on the weekend, in Oshawa. She did so awesome!

1st place Vault

2nd place Bars

3rd place Floor

7th place Beam

1st place Over-All

Want to know what is really amazing. She woke up that morning with a pounding headache, fever and throwing-up. She was a wreck but cried when we said that she might not be able to compete. She napped all morning and we finally got the fever down. She perked up and we decided to let her go.

It's over an hour drive there and when we arrived she was spiraling downhill again. Took another Tylenol and she sat on my lap and snuggled. At that point, she was changing her mind. I told her to go a head and do her warm up and see how she felt after that. Hoping that might take her mind off how she felt. It worked and once the adrenaline started pumping she did fine. Although she looked green/gray and ready to hurl when the judges weren't looking.

She crashed in the car on the way home and slept right through till late the next day. I still can't believe that she got through it all feeling the way she did. Man, she is one tough kid.

A cause close to my heart.

Many of you already know that I have a child with special needs and recently posted about finally getting an appt with Mac after waiting a year. The frustrating part is, once the kidlet is formally diagnosed I face more waiting lists in my future. Every year there a fewer and fewer programs out there to help kids with special needs. If you don't live in the GTA you could be double screwed because you have even less avenues to find help.

I got this from the OPSEU website. Send an e-mail to Premier Dalton McGuinty and Deb Matthews, Minister of Children and Youth Services. If they get enough pressure from us then maybe, hopefully they will do something about it. You know that whole 'squeaky wheel gets the grease' saying. If we don't make noise then we could be facing ever longer lists.



Send email to: dmcguinty.mpp.co@liberal.ola.org
cc: dmatthews.mpp@liberal.ola.org
bcc: ghamara@opseu.org


Subject: Restore funding to Children’s Mental Health Services – Now!

CUT AND PASTE THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE:

Dear Premier McGuinty/Minister Matthews,

In Ontario today more than 600,000 children and youth struggle to cope with mental health challenges.

Since 1993, successive governments have “put off until tomorrow” investment in our children and youth’s future. For 14 out of 16 years, core budgets in Children’s Mental Health Services have received a zero per cent funding increase, despite a 31 per cent cost-of-living increase in that same time period.

Flat line core budgets result in operating deficits. That means programs are cut or reduced to their bare bones. Staff are laid off and vacancies go unfilled.

“Tomorrow” has caught up to us. Today, more than 11,000 children and youth now languish on waitlists. As you know, those lists are growing longer each and every day.

I urge you to give these children and youth the hope they need that there will be a healthy tomorrow: restore funding to Children’s Mental Health Services today.


Sincerely,

Name: (Insert your name here)

Mailing Address: (insert your full mailing address here)

Flananas

Ryleigh and I have been baking and came up with a fun recipie using my flower pans. She dubbed them FLANANAS. I have a feeling these are going to be a common treat around here.



1c brown sugar
1/2c white sugar
1/4 butter

2eggs
3/4 cup sour cream
2c mashed bananas
1t vanilla

2c flour
1t baking soda
1t baking powder
1/2t salt
1t cinnamon
1/8t ground cloves

Preheat oven to 350.

Mix your dry ingredients in one bowl. In another bowl, cream your butter and sugar, and mix in the rest of the wet ingredients. Then fold the dry into the wet. Fill greased flower shapes, heaping but not overflowing.

Bake for 10 minutes, let sit for 1 minute and then put them on a wire rack to cool. Makes 36 flowers
Enjoy!

(If you use all the batter in a loaf pan, bake for 50 min)

One of the best Mother's Day prezzies...

How perfect it this!? I love it. Scarcasm and skulls and it fits a large double double from Timmies. Combined with a gift card to Chapters and a blow up chair I can use in the pool this summer, I got spoiled.

The first appt.

We have known that our oldest daughter sees the world differently then the rest of us. She was only 8 months old when my bro-in-law noticed, (already having 2 girls himself) We didn't find this out until years later because he is a kind man and didn't want to say anything at the time. The years have gone by and it has become more and more apparent, especially after the birth of our second child. We have gone from dr to dr and many tests through the school and no one has been able to help.

This week we had our first appt at McMaster Children's Hospital, a program we have waited almost a year to get into. It's such a relief to know that we are finally working towards understanding...or at least it feels like that. Of course you can't make a diagnosis after only a couple hours, but what the Dr suspects is what we have suspected as well. Fingers crossed with a little more time we will figure all this out. Then we can work towards helping my Fey Princess as much as we can.

I'm not sure who was more nervous.....

The younger kidlet had her first gymnastic competition last night. It was a stressful couple of days leading up to it. She had put so much pressure on herself to succeed that she literally was in tears from it. To the point where the night before she was freaking out, refusing to go to bed because she was afraid of tomorrow. I ended up laying in bed with her, in the dark reminding her over and over that the most important part of it all was that she have fun. We didn't care if she came in first or last all we wanted was for her to do her best and have the experience. It took a while, but she finally calmed down and started listening.

I know a lot of had to do with the fear of the unknown. There was also something that I hadn't realized until after we talked for a while. Long ago we have watched some of the Olympic gymnastic routines and she had in her head that she was going to be in a big arena with hundreds of people watching her. Poor thing no wonder she was stressed. Once it was explained that the competition was going to be held in a place similar to her home gym then she calmed down immensely. We went a hour early so she could watch the flight before hers,and see some of the older girls on her team go through their routines. That helped her relax even more and by the time it was time for her to go with her team she was smiling and laughing.

I was still a nervous wreck LOL. I knew if she didn't do well then she would be so hard on herself no matter what we said. Thankfully the kidlet did awesome!

7th~ Beam (she slipped off in the middle of her routine)
4th ~ Vault
3rd ~ Bars
2nd ~ Floor
4th ~ Overall

She was happy and hasn't taken her medals off yet. Now, she is looking forward to her next competition in a couple weeks.

Why do I find out a smidge too late?

It's no secret that my musical tastes have not changed much since I was 16 years old. I fully admitt that I enjoy all types of music from Clannad and Loreena McKinnett to In Flames and Nickleback. There are a couple of bands that I have loved from my early days and still listen too. First being Judas Priest and the other is Iron Maiden.

I just discovered tonight that there was a one night only showing of Iron Maiden's Flight 666, and it was on April 21.

3 DAYS AGO!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!

I'm so bummed. I hope I can pick up a DVD at some point in the future.

OK just a bit of Maiden trivia here. As far as I'm concerned Bruce Dickinson has the best set of 'pipes' (vocals) ever! Also did you know that he is a pilot, writer, has his own radio show and was invited to join the Olympic Fencing team .... but had to turn it down because it conflicted with his touring schedule. How cool is that!!!! I'll be 100 and still think Iron Maiden ROCKS!!!

Keep an eye on your spots!

So we are just on the verge of my favourite time of year. SUMMER. I love the sun and the heat. Not being cold. But this year I will have a different attitude towards my favourite sunshine activities.

I've always been bad for using sunscreen, and I've gotten burned more times then I like to admit. This year is different.

Had to have a spot 'burned' off my shin last week and I have another appt booked for May to follow up. I'm not a 100% certain if it was melanoma but my Dr. was concerned enough that she had the dry ice out as soon as I showed it to her.

Interesting experience having a close encounter with dry ice like that. When she applied it, it didn't' hurt at all and then 20 minutes later it burned like a bitch and then stopped. There was no real blistering like I expected. Now my leg started aching yesterday and still is today. That was more to do with my banging it in the warehouse yesterday and discovering the hard way that there was a blister after all. I changed the band-aid today and some of the protective skin came off. Fuck.

Of course I have been reading up on melanoma and had no idea how serious it was. Yes it can kill you but also can be cured as long as it's caught early. Check your spots.
Go HERE and learn what to look for. Did you know that in women melanoma is most often found on the lower legs? Reading that scared me a bit. But if my spot was bad, it's gone now. I'll be looking closer at any others you can be certain of that.

So this summer, I am all about the sunscreen. Tons of it. Gallons if you will

A flavour discovery.

If you are getting tired of having potatoes with your dinner, I discovered these rice blends at the Bulk Barn, and they are delicious!



Top left: Golden Jewel Blend: Israeli couscous, enriched macaroni, split baby garbanzo beans, quinoa

Top right: Aztec Blend: colusari red rice, long grain brown rice, split peas, amaranth.

Bottom: Jade Blend: Bamboo rice, wheat berries, basmati rice, green lentils, split baby garbanzo beans, Daikon radish seeds.
(* I love the way the radish seeds 'pop' when you bite into them.)

I can't say which one I like the best, which ever one I have cooked up is the winner that day. They make a good lunch idea. I've been trying to watch what I eat and cut back on potatoes a bit. One of my true weaknesses especially fried or mashed with LOTS of butter..mmmmmmmmmm

These blends are really filling but despite all the various ingredents they are a bit on the bland side so you can choose to flavour them all you want. My current favourite is the Chili Lime Sansel from Victorian Epicure. It's not overly expensive and you only have to use a little bit so my bottle is lasting forever. LOL
Oh if you order online you have to type in a consultant's name, use Arlene Roberts. ;o) That's my sister.

I'm going to experiment with some others I'll let you know how they turn out.

The unthinkable has happened.......

First off I should admit that I totally swiped this from the Samurai Knitter. I couldn't help it, it is too damn funny. Everyone needs a good laugh once in a while...or more often.

Not that it has been all that terrible around here. More to the opposite. Took the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara for a mini vacation. That was a blast.

Got home and discovered a few days later that both of them have head lice. That wasn't so much fun. NO I do not think they picked it up at the hotel...trust me there is enough chlorine in those pools to destroy any critters. Who knows where the little beasties hitched a ride? Of course if the girls both have them....well the odds are they probably shared with me as well. Couldn't find any evidence in my hair but I wasn't going to take any chances.

Normally, I like to try all the natural remedies to a situation before relying on any type of chemical. This is the exception. I nuked the little bastards...and in a few days I'll do it again just to make sure they are all gone. That'll teach 'em.

DUCK!

Well if I didn't already have a clue I would know for certain now. Spring is here and the bloody ducks are back. The male is at the pool edge, the female is on the fence.



They're harmless, but they drive the dogs nuts. Usually, they are swimming around in the sludge on top of the cover and I'm more afraid of Chewbacca jumping in to play with them. For now, before we let the dogs out, we have to check to see if they are there first. Once we get the pool open they don't come back. I think it's the chlorine in the water they don't like. OR The sludge on the cover is warmer then the lake at the moment. Given a choice between Lake Ontario or the sludge, I'd algae dive too.

In retaliation to the Fox assholes....

(yeah yeah language warning....What? You couldn't tell already?)




I know it has been a very long time since I updated here. I do have other interesting things to write about but today this is chewing at me. I was pondering if I should respond to the moronic assholes that populate the Fox network...

Yes, in the end I decided that I wanted to. I am very proud of our armed forces. Although I will admit a certain affinity for the NAVY because my uncles that served in that uniform.

As for the Fox network...you know who you are.... Fuck you!

Joe is the MAN!!

Keeping with my proud to be CANADIAN theme as of late, I offer you a couple more tidbits from the advertising department of Molson Canadian. I still think it's sad that some of the best promotions for our country comes from a beer comapany. Doesn't it seem logical that the government should run their marketing departments like Molson ...does the government have a marketing department? I certaintly wouldn't mind seeing more patriotic commercials




Oh and as for those CANADIAN sterotypes....

Another retail holiday.

I'm really not a fan of Valentine's Day.

To me it's just a day that retailers have built up to get you (guilt you) to spend lots of money. As if $$$ can prove how much you love someone.

Love is what you do, not what you spend.

The day my heart broke.

My oldest realized at some point in the last couple days that she is different, a moment I have been dreading with all my heart.

What do you say to a child who is different? Except to try to reassure her that it isn't as bad as she thinks. While she has a hard time leaning now, one day she will catch up. I sat there holding my sobbing child, who doesn't understand why she is different and why she isn't as smart as everyone else. I tried to tell her that being different isn't a bad thing. What a boring world this would be if everyone was like everyone else. That she has so many talents, just because school is difficult doesn't mean that she isn't going to do well. She will just have to work harder and that is a good thing because she will learn how to handle difficult situations in life. And we all know those don't stop with school.

This is one of the reasons I don't want to 'label' her. I refuse to tell her she can't do anything. What ever she wants to try, I encourage. Never do I want her thinking for a moment she can't do something because she has ____(insert annoying medical opinion here)____.

This also tells me that some little fuck'n ass at her school has discovered the art of 'cliques', or decided to spread their nasty little wings. How can I protect her from that? There are lots of handicapped kids at her school and those with obvious challenges are understood. For kids like my daughter, who's challenges don't show on the outside, they are fodder for those trying to practice manipulation and peer pressure.

Her recent decision to be a 'punk' might have started it all. Nothing like making a change to one's self to draw attention. In this instance, it has drawn the wrong kind of attention. Again something I am NOT going to say to her.

She sees the world differently then the rest of us. How she experiancesit is different too, and sometimes she gets lost in her own head.

Most times I think that everyone is on crack, that there isn't anything wrong with her. She is a perfectly normal little girl...and then there is the times I glimpse what she should know or do and I feel so guilty because I should have taught her that, or I did something wrong at some point. And of course the worst part are the things she comes out with that I remember feeling at her age. Like not being able to sleep and feeling like I was being watched all the time. So I must have genetically passed them on to her. What is a little more mommy guilt right? I know I know it's not my fault. (Right?)

I have days that I wish they would put a label on her, then someone could give me a list of things to do. But then I'm afraid that doing that would cause her not to do something she could because it on was this imaginary list.

I feel so lost.

Happy Super Sunday!!

!!!GO STEELERS GO!!!

I'll give you something to be pissed about.

(To those of sensitive natures: Please read, but just ignore the bad words.)

My mum is annoyed(pissed) that the TTC is allowing the atheists to post their message "There is no God, so relax and enjoy your life"
While I might not agree with their belief that there is no higher being, they do have the right to speak their mind. Basically that doesn't bother me so much.

What does pissed me off to no end and has been eating away at my thoughts for the past few days. A school in New Brunswick has stopped playing the National Anthem.

ARE YOU SHITTING ME??

It's the NATIONAL fuck'n ANTHEM. NATIONAL as in part of our country. Free country.

The country that has suffered loss of so many of our soldiers and continues to do so. Singing the anthem in school is patriotic, reminding us that no matter what our beliefs are we are still CANADIANS. Reminds us that fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins are out there in uniform protecting our rights. Not just our Military Soldiers, but RCMP, CSIS, Coast Guard, police officers, firemen, hell, I could continue on for a very long time.

Apparently the ANTHEM was banned because there are parents who complained. But Principal Erik Millett of Belleisle Elementary School in Springfield, N.B., won't say what exactly the complaint was,c iting privacy issues.

Ok fine.

To those parents: Get the fuck out of my country! I don't want one more soldier to die to give you the right to be an asshole.

To Mr Millett: Stop being an asshole and be proud of the country that gives you the freedom to be an assole.

I remember when they used to play the National Anthem at the movie theater before the movie started. I tried to find it but no luck, so instead here is the old signoff from CBC TV.



How cool is our country?? Well we have a beer named after us. They have a commercial that I think we should sing every day!!! LOL

I'm still cool!

It's my mum's fault.

Having a special needs child I find that I reflect a lot on my own childhood and what things made me what I am today. I guess in a way I hope that I can help my daughter as much as I can and try to guess before hand what might bother her and how I can help her deal with things that will affect her for the rest of her life.

She announced a couple weeks back that she has decided that she wants to be a punk... LOL yea I should have seen that one coming. I still listen to heavy rock, love things with skulls, no I'm not your typical suburban mom. Am I worried, no not really, she is just trying to stretch her wings and find her place. Her thoughts don't run in the same patterns as ours so I'll let her do what she wants, with a few guidelines of course. (no we are not painting your room black and no you are not getting any tattoos or piercings until you are 18)

To be honest, I would rather her be listening to Avril Lavigne, Billy Talent and Spyderbait then Brittany or Madonna. I don't say that out loud of course because teenage rebellion is just around the corner and I'm not giving her any extra ammunition or ideas.

So back to my original thought. For fun on my other writing blog I post here and there about about songs that inspire me. "The Ride of the Valkyries" from Die Walkure, beyond a doubt is one. I vaguely remember my mum putting it on and telling me to close my eyes and imagine what the music was telling me. I would lay on the living room floor and visualize viking women on horseback, leaping from mountain top to mountain top, lightening bolts piercing the skies above them, lighting their way.

I's a very primitive sounding piece, and I don't mean that in a negative way. The music is raw and powerful there is no synthetic electronic mixing. A piece like this is best playing on natural classical instruments. This isn't the only song I remember from my childhood. "In the Hall of the Mountain King" by Edvard Grieg is another one.Is it any wonder that as I got older my musical tastes leaned towards similar styles?

So all that heavy metal I drove my mum nuts with when I was a teenager. Mum, it was all your own fault. LOL