Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Neurotics 'R' Us

Wow I can't believe how fast this month is passing. It's the 11th already? Damn and the month is just about to go even quicker. I just realized that a contest I had given up on entering is still within my range only I have to have everything ready by the 28th!

Originally I heard about this contest back in November when I was plugging away at my nanowrimo. So I figured what the hell, but December was a complete write off and i kinda toss the idea thinking maybe next year. That is until I got a reminder notice in my email and realized I only have to have the first 35 pages done. Well hell I have over a hundred so tweeking the first couple chapters should be no problem right?

Ever have every insecurity and neurotic tendancy blow up to 10 times their normal size in the matter of a few hours? I went from being totally pumped to aaarrrgghhh! It all sucks!

Silly eh? But I guess this is just one of those things I either deal with or toss the entire thing. So I have resorted back to what I usually do when my anxiety level starts rising. Break it down to small goals. The first time I entered a contest was a year ago and my goal for that one was just to get up enough nerve to actually enter it. Which I did. No nothing came out of it I'm not even sure where I landed as far as marks go they never said but that is ok because I accomplished what I set out to do.

Now this one is a bit more detailed, 5 page synopsis, no more then 35 pages long with a projected length of over 25,000 and the such. So this goal will be to actually get it all done and ready and entered before the 28th. I will not beat myself up if I don't do well, it's just one step closer to the day that I do get an acceptance letter.

My that sounded rather calm and rational didn't it? Of course I fully expect to have bitten off all my nails by the end of this, be sporting a few nasty pimples, and have eaten my weight in Vanilla~Candycane~fudge~crackle~icecream.

I was telling hubby about it and he suggested that I enter more then one catagory. *snmackingforehead* I'd love to but not this year. As tempting as it is to see if I could crank out 35 pages on one of my historical ideas I think adding that much more stress on myself would probably drive me insane. The sick think is I am tempted to try, LOL. It's nice to have so much support from him and the knowledge that he thinks I could do it. It was when I mentioned that one of the editors looking at the entries is from AVON(!) he suggested tring to get a second entry ready. When I first started seriously thinking about becoming an author I had said many times that I would love for my historicals be published by them.

Ok I am almost talkinn myself into this here, which is dooming myself to 2 quarts of icecream I know it!

Ok before I bite off more then I can chew, I'm going to concentrate on my paranormal entry then *IF* I have time then I will see if I can crank out something half decent for a historical entry.

Karma says "Huh?"

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